Eurovision Song Contest 2010 Review

The one with noticeable jury influence

Welcome to Oslo, to an arena NRK booked even before the 2009 final was held since they were so sure of winning. Due to being in Norway (expensive), four whole countries dropped out of the contest (granted, most of them also had no success). The countries we lost were Andorra (who never managed to qualify and decided to leave forever), Czechia (who never managed to qualify and decided to leave for a while), Montenegro (who never managed to qualify and decided to leave for a bit), as well as Hungary who actually have qualified before, but didn’t have money to keep participating consistently (so they had to rethink their approach). But hey, Georgia was back, so that’s something! And Ukraine managed to not get disqualified, even though they almost nearly were, so that’s good! All in all, 39 countries participated. But will we get stuck with 39 awful songs like in 2008, or will we continue the trend of having actually good songs like in 2009? I already know the answer, but I won’t say it upfront.

Semi-Final 1

I found this semifinal with Ukrainian commentary, so that’s what I’ll be using. I have to say that it feels nice to hear Timur’s voice again. It almost makes me feel like I’m watching it back home. Norway decided not to do anything extravagant for the opening, so there isn’t much to talk about. The hosts just described the changes in the voting system and that’s it, the songs started almost immediately after.

Estonia - Siren

Performed by
Malcolm Lincoln
Language
English

For some reason, this is worse than I remember. Maybe it’s because I’ve listened to so many Eurovision entries over the past years, but I just couldn’t click with it this time, despite actually having it on my playlist (though I usually skip it if it comes up). I don’t think I would’ve been able to put it into words before, but now I can see why it appealed to me before and why it doesn’t appeal to me now: it sounds like a demo. The piano is good, but I just think that it lacks anything else. It could’ve benefitted from something more. It’s hard for me to say what exactly since I’m not a composer, but it just needs something more. On the other hand, I think his accent adds something to the song. So I don’t dislike it, and maybe I’ll be able to see what I used to see in it earlier, but not right now.

Slovakia - Horehronie

Performed by
Kristína
Language
Slovak

I think it’s quite a shame that Slovakia didn’t qualify. Even though I don’t revisit this song too often, I’m always surprised by how fun it is when I do. The melody is energetic and danceable, with folk elements being used to enhance it. The singing is decent, but she doesn’t always manage to hit every note. It’s rare enough that I’m not bothered by it. My biggest nitpick is the staging. It’s just too dark. I wish the lights in the background were used a little more. The costumes are good as well, apart from the backing singer’s white wedding dress, which feels completely out of place. Also, I find it really funny how this is a tourism ad for the region of Horehronie in Slovakia. I wonder if the tourism board of Horehronie sponsored the participation after Kristína won the NF.

Finland - Työlki ellää

Performed by
Kuunkuiskaajat
Language
Finnish

Just like with Slovakia, I think it’s quite a shame that Finland didn’t go to the final. It’s a very fun entry, and I would’ve added some spice to the final, which had a lot more “normal” songs than usual. Still, unlike most people, I’m not completely enamoured with it and don’t revisit it all that often either. It just isn’t the kind of song I seek out too often, even though I don’t think it’s a bad entry at all. It just fails to appeal to me a little, even though it definitely should’ve qualified instead of Belarus. But Slovakia had a more interesting folksy entry, for sure.

Latvia - What For?

Performed by
Aisha
Language
English

While this isn’t a very good song, I find it absolutely hilarious. The line “Only Mr. God knows why” is especially funny. I find myself quoting it from time to time because it never fails to crack me up. I think this is why listening to it never fails to improve my mood. Though it’s a pretty neat song in general. The accordion, for example, adds a lot of character to it. But, in general, it just kinda comes together, the components of the song all fit together rather well. In a way, it just feels endearingly daft, and I can’t help but enjoy it.

Poland - Legenda

Performed by
Marcin Mroziński
Language
English, Polish

This is a weirdly dislikeable song. There’s pretty much nothing here I can like, and the three minutes of watching this feel like three hours. It just feels like every part of the song is at odds with each other and sounds dissonant because of that. Nothing here meshes together or makes any sense. His voice is rather annoying, the lyrics are really creepy (I know that this was the point, but come on) and the melody isn’t all that great either because it just feels very floaty due to constant tempo changes (and I do mean constant, the songs slows down and speeds up during every line). I suppose the backing singers/dancers are nice and I like their costumes.

Malta - My Dream

Performed by
Thea Garrett
Language
English

It’s a very competent ballad that doesn’t really evoke any significant feelings in me. I can see why she was a jury qualifier, but idk. It just has one of the most predictable and formulaic structures ever. The malfunction of her wings prop was a little funny tho. And it isn’t even the worst song whose performers had a wings prop this evening!

But there’s actually one fun fact about it: if you play it on double speed, then the song’s intro will sound like the Samsung ringtone.

North Macedonia - Jas ja imam silata

Performed by
Gjoko Taneski
Language
Macedonian

This is one of those songs that aren’t necessarily bad but aren’t really that good either. To me, it sounds like a song I’ve heard about a million times already, and the rap part makes it sound like any other late-2000s rock song. Still, it’s a fair effort and I can see why the juries put it as their borderline qualifier. I wouldn’t have minded it if the juries had their way with it.

General thoughts

The trend of this year is minimalism, both in the presentation and the song. I bet NRK took one look at Russia’s hosting last year and said “hell no, we aren’t spending so much money”. I have to say, as one of the biggest proponents of making Eurovision cheaper, I’m all for this. The juries also had a huge influence on the kind of song countries sent, as a lot of the songs were very understated and slow, and they were no doubt hoping to cash in on the new voting system. Some of the countries were a lot more successful with it than others, but it’s interesting that most countries adapted to the return of the juries much quicker than to the introduction of the televote. I wonder if that’s because the jury criteria are publicly known and fairly simple to cater to, while the televote is fickle.

The qualifiers were the ones I expected at the time, except for Bosnia and Herzegovina, which most people predicted to NQ and for Finland to qualify instead (and, looking at the split results, this is exactly how the results looked). When only one qualifier spot remained, Timur said that he’d give it to Aisha, which surprised me a little, but it shows that he also has random tastes from time to time, as all Eurovision fans do. If he didn’t, it would’ve shown that he didn’t care for the contest. Still, at least the final qualifier was Iceland, which definitely deserved to go through into the final. After she qualified, he said that she “disappointed Aisha and the girls from Finland. Although the girls from Finland will still go to the Euroclub.” This shows that he took his time to get to know at least some of the contestants enough to say that.

Also, I’d like to play a little game called “What if the voting system wasn’t stupid from the start”. Let’s pretend that the EBU decided to simply add jury and televoting points as in 2016 and beyond. Would it have changed anything? In fact, yes! It would change something in pretty much every show! In this semifinal, it would kick Moldova out of the qualifiers, and instead, Malta and Finland would tie for the last qualifier spot with 106 points each. As Finland received more points from the televote, it would’ve been the one to make it in.

Semi-Final 2

Sadly, I couldn’t find Ukrainian commentary for any of the other shows, so I’ll be using the Russian commentary this time. It’s a shame because I wonder if he gave some background on our troubled NF this year (I doubt that). Just like in the semi-final 1, the hosts talked for just a couple minutes with no extravagant opening act or anything like that. And, to be honest, I kinda like it this way, nobody is wasting my time or anything, though it makes for very short opening blurbs.

Lithuania - Eastern European Funk

Performed by
InCulto
Language
English

The Russian commentators called it a “very energetic song in a very melancholic year” and, honestly, yeah, I agree with them. It’s a pretty good way to open the show before all of the slow songs (although, admittedly, this semifinal is comparatively more upbeat than the first one). Sadly, it’s also quite a messy song, though not to the point where it’s impossible to enjoy. There’s certainly a lot to enjoy here.

First of all, it has a genuinely good instrumental. Surprisingly, all of its parts go together really well, even if that makes it sound hectic at times. Personally, I would’ve removed the kazoo from the first verse and only added it in later. I think that would’ve made it feel like it was progressing more. Otherwise, just like the commentators said, this sounds like “a crazy mix of disco and funk”.

However, the main reason why I like this song is the lyrics. While it got better as of late, it used to be that Western Europeans pretty much universally considered Eastern Europeans second-class citizens. We were all regressive, greedy, lying, stealing jobs and so on and so forth. Personally, I think it was jealousy. And, in a way, I think this is the best response. Show them that those comments don’t affect us in any way and we just find them funny. Also point out that they rely on us because none of them want to do any of the difficult jobs.

Also, the staging is totally awesome. I love the use of obviously fake instruments here, after all, it’s not like they can play any kind of instruments on stage, so they might as well take a very slight jab at the ESC rules. Though the sparkly underwear is a bit too much, I’m not too keen on the costume change at the end. Still, it doesn’t bring the song down in my eyes either and it definitely should’ve qualified.

Switzerland - Il pleut de l’or

Performed by
Michael von der Heide
Language
French

And here we have the entry from Sweden called It Hurts Switzerland. Sorry, I got my notes mixed up due to the uncanny similarity between the songs. But I’m definitely not implying any plagiarism here, both are songs in the same genre and the most prominent similarity (the bass line) is very simple, so I’m certain that he came up with it himself (he’s listed as the first name in the composing and songwriting credits, so he did the majority of work).

Now, why do I unapologetically love this despite it really not being anything special? I think there are several reasons. First, I just enjoy schlager more than other people. I just tend to like cheesy music like this. It’s catchy and danceable, even if it’s very musically simplistic. I also just love Michael’s stage presence. Even if he isn’t an outstanding vocalist, he just has this fun, enthusiastic energy that makes me enjoy this song even more. Finally, I think that being in French makes it more novel. There’s a lot of schlager in Germanic languages, but francophone schlager is relatively uncommon. And, despite the singer being a native German speaker (which should be obvious from his name), the French version feels more like the original version. The German version has some lines that feel a bit unnatural to me and don’t fit the music.

Basically, I really disagree with it getting last place in the final, but I do understand why it did. It barely leaves a first impression when you watch it, so people just weren’t enthusiastic about voting for it. And as it wasn’t anything too original or groundbreaking, as well as the fact that he was a poor vocalist, ensured that the juries wouldn’t give him a lot of points either. Also, this semifinal is just way too strong, which didn’t help him either.

Sweden - This Is My Life

Performed by
Anna Bergendahl
Language
English

I know that a lot of people dislike this entry, but I’ve always found it extremely cute. But that’s not to say that I think it’s flawless, it has some positives and negatives to it.

When it comes to the positives, Anna just feels like an innately likeable person, even though she lacks some stage presence. I just always enjoy watching her performance (though she should’ve kept the guitar all the way through - how did they manage to make it disappear so naturally? That was some smooth camera trickery - well done to NRK for pulling it off). I also enjoy the lyrics, even if they’re a bit vague. They paint the scene really well.

As for the negatives, well. I don’t fully love it for two reasons. Firstly, it just isn’t all that interesting musically. The only parts that consistently interest me are the transitions from the verses into the chorus and the bridge. Admittedly, that’s still more than a lot of other songs, but the second verse just fails to grip me musically. Secondly, I have the same complaint I had about Armenia last year: she has a very weird way of pronouncing words. It’s close enough that I understand what she’s saying quite clearly, but it still feels just a tiny bit weird.

And yet, the positives do outweigh the negatives here, which means I would’ve definitely put this through as well - granted, all of the songs that I like in this semifinals couldn’t have all qualified because there are more than 10 in total. And, if I have to sacrifice some of them, I don’t think I mind that this had to miss out, it’s on the lower side of favourites for me.

Netherlands - Ik ben verliefd (Sha-la-lie)

Performed by
Sieneke
Language
Dutch

And now it’s time for the worst Dutch entry… according to everyone who isn’t me! That’s right! I really enjoy this, and I’m not ashamed to admit it! It’s just so unashamedly unfashionable and unappealing that it loops around and becomes insanely addictive to me. I think the main reason for this is Sienke’s energy. She doesn’t feel bad for singing this, and she’s clearly enjoying herself immensely, which really helps me get into it. Plus, the staging is genuinely good too. Or, at the very least, it fits with the performance. And sure, it’s very sugary, but I don’t really mind that.

Also, I found it cute how excited the Russain commentators were over this namedropping Moscow. It really shows the trope of naming random locations kinda works, even if I don’t really like it myself. That’s why this won’t be at the top of my rankings, I just don’t like the namedropping of different cities.

The male Russian commentator said that he thinks this would’ve easily won about 40 years ago and the female commentator added that she thinks that time is sometimes completely stopped at Eurovision. But, in fact, the televote kinda liked this and gave it 11th place with 49 points - just 4 points behind the 10th televote qualifier.

Slovenia - Narodnozabavni rock

Performed by
Ansambel Žlindra and Kalamari
Language
Slovene

The commentators had to talk very quickly to explain the background of the entrants and started absolutely losing it by the end. They explained that the founder of the ensemble (Rok Žlindra) comes from a musical family (but they did it in a funny way) and that it mostly consists of his family and friends too. They also said that when put together, the two ensembles had way too many members and had to cut out about half of them to comply with the 6 people limit. And, of course, they said that the title doesn’t require translation, and they were right - it doesn’t.

I have to commend these people for bringing folk music mixed with another genre, which always makes it better. Over the course of these reviews, I’ve come to realise that straightforward folk music rarely works for me. I mean, I can enjoy it, but it really shines when it’s combined with another genre. Also, these are some great harmonies, although I wish they changed them up a little from time to time.

In the end, I understand why it didn’t qualify, though I wish it did. It definitely would’ve spiced up the final.

Bulgaria - Angel si ti

Performed by
Miro
Language
Bulgarian, English

After so many NQs that I liked, we finally have one I don’t. I wouldn’t call it bad, but it just isn’t on the level of many other entries in this semifinal. I definitely never return to it of my own volition, but it doesn’t annoy me either. Of all entries that exist this year, this one definitely exists too.

Croatia - Lako je sve

Performed by
Feminnem
Language
Croatian

Alright, it’s the final NQ and it’s… nothing to write home about. There are some decent melodic ideas here from time to time, but it just bores me overall. It feels bad to end the NQ reviews on such a short one, but what can you really do.

General thoughts

This was by far the better semifinal, with barely any filler entries. Not that the first one was a terrible semifinal either, but the average quality of the songs here was a head ahead of the first one.

During the voting, we were treated to a compilation of entries that came in the bottom 3 in their year, and I have to say, we should celebrate the losers more. The worst song often doesn’t come last anyway, so I think it’s worth highlighting that. Case in point, Turkey 1987, Belgium 1973, Finland 1992, Turkey 1999 and Norway 1990. The commentators broke into laughter after this and said, “Yeah, songs like these have also been in Eurovision”. We also got an interval act that, fittingly for this year, was rather minimalistic: a couple minutes of pre-filmed footage that transitioned into a live dance performance. It was nice, though it isn’t particularly remarkable.

When it came to the qualifiers reveal, the commentators took it quite lightly (which makes sense as their country already qualified), so they could afford to be relaxed. They also either said that the qualification was really deserved or at least were very excited when some countries were revealed (Georgia, Israel, Cyprus, Azerbaijan and Denmark). When they didn’t care too much, they just congratulated the qualifiers, which is good and sporting. They were very disappointed that Lithuania didn’t qualify, though. I also have a sneaking suspicion they were at least moderately drunk by the end of the show.

Now, under the 2016-2022 system, Sweden would’ve qualified instead of Ireland, which, well, you’ll see which one I prefer at the end of this post. You won’t be getting any spoilers ahead of time.

Also, after Cyprus was revealed, the male commentator said that the professionals and the press remarked on just how competitive semi-final 2 was, which feels extremely validating. It was far more competitive than semi-final 1, that’s for sure.

With 20 qualifiers through to the final, to join 5 automatic qualifiers, let’s proceed to the final as well.

Final

The final, mostly consisting of good songs, as well as the automatic qualifiers, is finally here (please disregard the fact that it’s been here for over 14 years, I’m trying to create some hype). The opening is, fittingly, rather simple. We start off with a montage of travelling through time across old Eurovision editions, giving the commentators enough time to rattle off a lot of information (the name of the Eurovision anthem among many of them, as well as the female commentator telling her niece and nephew to go to bed). Then there’s a quick wish of good luck from people all over the world (dialling in live over the internet), a quick performance by Alexander Rybak (with a broken wrist according to the commentators). According to the female commentator, he (Alexander Rybak) told her that he’d be rooting for Belarus this time, which proves he has no taste. After that, we’re off to the songs (and people can vote for them right from the start, which is sensible).

Azerbaijan - Drip Drop

Performed by
Safura
Language
English

Unfortunately, we have to get this song out of the way first. Fortunately, this is one of very few really bad songs in the final this year. I just find this utterly repulsive from start to finish. It has that typical dreary, soulless feel to it and a very technical performance with little warmth. Looking at the list of composers, I’m not surprised to see Anders Bagge there. From what I know, the man is absolutely lovely, but I’d be lying if I said that I’ve ever managed to connect with any of his songs in my life.

This was considered one of the main favourites to win back in the day (it was leading the odds for most of the 2010 season), and my 9-year-old self (who didn’t like it even back then) was massively baffled by it. And, to be honest, I continue to be baffled in retrospect.

Spain - Algo pequeñito

Performed by
Daniel Diges
Language
Spanish

I have to admit, I’ve always found this to be very cute. While it’s a fairly simple song, I don’t really think it needs anything more. While I would’ve liked something more than just two key changes, the way the stage performance becomes more and more complex with each one makes them a lot more palatable to me. I also don’t think I even realised that there was a stage invasion at the time of watching, especially because another guy appears on stage immediately after Jimmy Jump jumps off the stage. Basically, I was completely caught off-guard when the presenters said that he’d get to perform again.

For the record, I absolutely don’t mind that he got to perform again, it was the right thing to do. But the stage invader was really smooth, so I grudgingly have to give him props for thinking it through.

Norway - My Heart Is Yours

Performed by
Didrik Solli-Tangen
Language
English

Norway simply didn’t want to host again and decided to send a song I have zero thoughts on. To me, it just lacks any emotion in it, which means I’m not interested in the little it does have to offer (like his vocals, which are, admittedly, good).

Moldova - Run Away

Performed by
SunStroke Project and Olia Tira
Language
English

I have to be honest, this just doesn’t grip me as a piece of music. Outside of the sax solo, it’s highly repetitve and not particularly engaging. Though, of course, it’s a well-known internet meme that hasn’t passed me by, which makes me a little more biased towards it. Plus, its quite upbeat after a string of ballads at the start, which makes it a little more fun.

Of course, I don’t actually dislike it. The performance itself is fun and energetic and actually does elevate the song itself. I think that all comes down to performers who genuinely like what they’re doing, so their energy translates to the performance (unlike Norway or Azerbaijan). And this was corroborated by Timur in the semifinal since, according to him, they attended every party thrown by other delegations. They were clearly here to have fun, maybe more performers should take them as an example.

Cyprus - Life Looks Better in Spring

Performed by
Jon Lilygreen and the Islanders
Language
English

I know one person who’s completely obsessed with this song, but I’ve also always liked it myself. It’s a very cute and down-to-earth song with lovely lyrics and a good live performance. There’s another guitar-centric ballad this year, so I’m glad that they’re still different. This entry has a more elaborate composition with a more orchestral-feeling track, as well as backing vocalists. It doesn’t grip me quite as much as the entry that’s about to come, but I still thoroughly enjoy it because Jon Lilygreen is a good performer.

Bosnia and Herzegovina - Thunder and Lightning

Performed by
Vukašin Brajić
Language
English

In the semifinal, Timur said that this song was uncharacteristic of the Balkans, which proves that Eurovision is a great way to dispel the myths of your country only having a single musical style. I think that really shows the value of Eurovision: it allows you to show that your country is more than one stereotypical thing. It just isn’t interesting when a country sends the same style of music over and over again, be it rock, flashy dance-pop, ballads or, yes, folk. It’s always best when countries vary their approach.

The song is actually good too, I’m glad the juries put it through (it’s unfortunate that it was at the expense of Finland, but I like this more than the Finnish entry, so I won’t complain too much - of course, both should’ve still made it at the expense of Belarus). It really nicely incorporates some orchestral sounds into an overall rocky soundscape. In a way, I could imagine rock entries sounding like this if the orchestra had been kept. There’s a very prominent string line throughout the whole performance, along with nice and thick percussion hits. The verses are a little more minimalistic and reserved than the chorus, mostly using an acoustic guitar from time to time but largely relying on his singing to carry the melody itself. The chorus is more epic, but the composition still doesn’t go all out to save the really epic feel for the instrumental break after it. That really makes the song feel a lot more dynamic than it could’ve otherwise been.

After another verse and chorus that both sound pretty similar to the first verse and chorus - except the electric guitar is now included in the verse as well - the song decides to throw another curveball at us by going to a bridge. Logically, you’d expect it to move to a chorus after this, maybe change the key. Instead, it ends. Very few songs have the balls to end on a bridge, but, in my opinion, it executes it well. Instead of the final chord, we get the sound of thunder, which does fit with the theme of the song.

My only nitpick is his singing. He clearly isn’t very confident singing in English. Indeed, the version in Bosnian that was performed at the National Final sounded a lot more natural. As usual, my complaint is with him pronouncing the words weirdly. They just don’t sound right to my ears, which is a shame because I really like the song otherwise.

Even so, the lyrics themselves are written pretty well. They stick to a rather abstract representation of relationships as nature and use a lot of metaphors like “melt the ice”, a “drought” being them falling out of love and “rain” being the opposite. I really appreciate this, which is why I enjoy it even more.

Belgium - Me and My Guitar

Performed by
Tom Dice
Language
English

For the longest time, I used to basically ignore this song. It wasn’t flashy or upbeat enough for me to truly enjoy it. However, it’s been one of the sneakiest growers ever. This year, in general, and this, of all entries, is one of the biggest proofs that Western Europe was done not caring about the contest. Of course, many other entries this year show it as well, but this is the earliest one where this is apparent. Belgium was tired of being the Eurovision punching bag with an equal longest non-qualification streak together with the Netherlands, so they decided to do something about this. More than that, VRT was tired of everyone saying they were worse at selecting songs than RTBF, so they decided to play it a little risky but also safe at the same time. Risky because this could’ve ended up being a little too minimalistic, with its lack of an epic backing track or any particularly challenging singing (as in the “vocal capacity of the act” jury criterion). Safe because it’s still very appealing and wouldn’t put anyone off.

As someone who appreciates minimalism in music, I find it very easy to like this. It delivers exactly what it promises just from reading the title: it’s just a guy playing his guitar (ok, pretending to play his guitar because of the rules). There aren’t any gimmicks here, no backup dancers, no soaring long notes or anything, unlike in the Cypriot entry. I think that works to the song’s advantage, however. If it did become grander despite basically promising not to, it could’ve ruined the illusion of intimacy the camera shots and Tom’s singing style have built. Because that’s what this entry does to appeal to the viewers and juries alike: it just tries to pull you into the comfy and personal atmosphere of a song like this. And while it does gain some complexity in the second verse by gaining a beat (and generally getting a more uplifting and optimistic feel), it’s done in a way that sounds completely organic to the point where I sometimes don’t notice it at all.

It’s also very sweet lyrically. In general, this year had a much stronger focus on the lyrics than a lot of the previous ones, so I think it would be unfair not to talk about them (even if I often say that I don’t care about the lyrics, it’s not true - janky lyrics don’t ruin a song for me, but great lyrics can easily elevate it). They’re, once again, made to be relatable. I’m sure most people have thought that their current life sucks, that they hate their job and that they’re destined for more. This appeals to that part of ourselves and definitely does it really well. As someone who’s worked some jobs he didn’t enjoy at all, this definitely speaks to me.

It was, perhaps, a little ahead of its time. This sort of music was all over the charts in the mid-2010s, so I think it would’ve got an even better result in 2014 or 2015 (also because those years were comparatively even weaker and the voting system used in those years would help this even more). Not that coming 6th is a bad result by any means - this was the highest place achieved by VRT since 1959. That’s why I’m extra happy that VRT were the ones that broke Belgium’s non-qualification streak, as they were consistently underrated before that despite sending most of the good songs Belgium has had until then.

Also, it was after this performance that commentators mentioned that Spain would get to perform again. This means it took the EBU just under 20 minutes to come to this decision, which is a nice and quick turnaround. They had to communicate that to a lot of people, including the broadcasters scheduling the show, as they would’ve probably had to push their following broadcasts by a couple minutes, which would’ve been annoying. So good job, EBU, that’s a much more prompt response to issues like this than I could’ve expected.

Serbia - Ovo je Balkan

Performed by
Milan Stanković
Language
Serbian

Just like Bosnia, I’m happy that Serbia isn’t sticking to the same genre and are actually showcasing the different sides of their musical industry. This time, they invented K-Pop brought in something in the vein of Cipela, but a little more fun and a little less off-putting. I appreciate its presence here, it’s genuinely very enjoyable.

After this performance, Nadia officially announced that Spain would indeed perform again.

Belarus - Butterflies

Performed by
3+2 feat. Robert Wells
Language
English

You know me, I try to be positive about songs most of the time. I compliment things a song might do well or at least try to recognise that there was an attempt to make something. On some rare occasions, however, a song is so deeply horrifying that there isn’t a single positive thing I can say about it. This is one of those songs.

Let’s start with the most obvious thing: the lyrics. They’re among the worst ones in Eurovision. They’re nonsensical, illogical and just really stiff. “Fragile like melted snow” makes absolutely no sense at all. Melted snow is water, it’s the opposite of fragile, it can turn mountains into dust. Somehow, this is still the more coherent part of the song. The chorus not only degenerates into unintelligible mumbling, and the lyrics degenerate even further into totally jejune phrases. What do you mean by “the sun will never let us look inside”? What do you mean by “this’ll be opened up”? What is “this”? How will it be “opened up”? And what is the “it” in the line “heartily wait for it, it will come”? How can there be so many inane, horrible lyrics at once? I know that they were written by a non-native speaker (from Poland), but it would’ve been better not to. I’m certain she intended these lyrics to sound poetic and have a deeper meaning, but they’re just an irredeemable mess.

The music isn’t much better. In fact, it’s much worse. I can stomach poor, nonsensical lyrics if the composition is good. This is basically the opposite of good. Listening to this feels like swimming in syrup. It just feels thick, I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s like the song actively resists doing literally anything interesting and instead chooses the most insipid way forward. Every time there’s a glimmer of hope that it’ll do something mildly interesting, it instead takes a turn to the most predictable melody and plods along. To say that listening to this turns my brain into mush would be an understatement. You already know how the song will go for the rest of the 3 minutes. You can even smell the key change coming because this is definitely the sort of song that uses a key change in lieu of actual progression.

The final component is the live performance, which manages to drive it into the ground to the point it comes out on the other side of the planet. It’s done without a single thought or emotion shown on the performers’ faces. It’s purely mechanical: they’re opening their mouths because they learned to open their mouths at this moment and then at that moment and make sounds they don’t even understand. There isn’t a shred of warmth to be found here, which is completely contrary to the way this song is probably supposed to sound. I also just absolutely despise the butterfly wings prop. If they thought this was clever, then they were sorely mistaken: it’s actually horrifyingly vapid. Oh yeah, and I hate the vocal showboating in the final chorus, it manages to be even more monotonous and tiring than usual.

Basically, this is a truly hideous and annoying song. The fact that it qualified with the televote, but not the jury shows that the televoters are absolutely fucking stupid and can’t be trusted with any decisions were still voting along geographical lines. The thing that pisses me off the most is that they originally had a pretty good song called Far Away, which was a fairly nice pop rock song that definitely had a feel of a Belarusian entry, but it was replaced due to “negative public feedback”, which shows that the public is absolutely fucking stupid and can’t be trusted with any decisions is absolutely ridiculous. I’m happy that I’m finally done with this worthless piece of crap. I hope you appreciate my sacrifice because I had to listen to this multiple times to write this review fully.

Ireland - It’s for You

Performed by
Niamh Kavanagh
Language
English

This is easy to treat as a sequel to In Your Eyes. In her 1993 entry, she sang to her lover with passion, fitting for someone young. Now, she’s grown, got some life experience and is singing her song to her child - or, at least, the song’s theme kinda makes me think that.

It’s a lot more reserved and calm like she’s trying to reassure someone, which quite neatly ties into my theory. And I know what you’ll say, she’s singing about love, it has to be about a partner. But love doesn’t have to be romantic, and the kind of love she’s describing fits a lot more with the kind of love a parent might feel towards their child.

This kind of song also makes me wish that an orchestra was available as an option. Actual live music would certainly elevate it, though it’s still very good. In fact, I’ll go as far as to say that this is better than her 1993 entry simply because it stays very understated all throughout, so I believe it more if that makes sense. And I find the lyrics a lot better, as well. It wouldn’t have qualified under the 2016-2022 system (Sweden would’ve made it through instead), so I’m glad that the system that was used this year was used, as losing this would’ve been a shame, at least in my opinion.

Greece - Opa

Performed by
Giorgos Alkaios and Friends
Language
Greek

I really don’t have a lot to say about this. While it’s a fine song and all, it just doesn’t interest me much. I wanted to write a review for it late at night, watched it, realised that I was too sleepy and then completely forgot how it went after I woke up. Even now, just having watched it, I can’t say I remember enough about it to write a long review. But it’s fine, I can see why it scored so well, especially since it came after a stretch of slow songs.

United Kingdom - That Sounds Good to Me

Performed by
Josh Dubovie
Language
English

When I was watching the preview clips, I thought that Josh looked cute on them. And, to be fair to him, he did have that kind of boyish charm on stage as well. That’s where his talents ended. Listening to this song is pure pain, both due to the horrible performance and the song itself also being shit. It has that bland sorta poppy instrumental that has a negative amount of originality, insanely cheesy (and not in a good way) lyrics and a performer who just can’t sing it, so all long notes sound only marginally better than the worst long note in Eurovision history (spoiler: I’m talking about Spain 2017). Also, Josh is a very weird human being politically, so his facade of cuteness quickly falls apart once you learn about him a little. And while this doesn’t change my opinion of the song at all (it’s already abysmal), it makes me feel a little smug about his performance instead of sorry because I normally would’ve felt sorry because it was the producers who decided to change the key of the song and Josh was clearly struggling.

Georgia - Shine

Performed by
Sofia Nizharadze
Language
English

Under the split system, this would’ve been Georgia’s best result ever: it would’ve won the semifinal and finished 5th in the final. I almost think this would’ve been deserved for several reasons.

First of all, I really like the instrumental here. It has a very nice sense of progression, with rises and falls and lovely crescendos, as well as a very nice guitar. Even when the fairly typical beat kicks in, I find it really charming for some reason. I even like the interpretive dancers (and I usually complain about those), though they still reek of desperation to be more memorable than the song is.

Turkey - We Could Be the Same

Performed by
Manga
Language
English

I’ve become entirely tired of this entry over the past almost-decade-and-a-half. Yes, we all know that Manga got robbed, the Turkish fans remind us every day. Personally, I love it when sore losers lose because they usually end up being even sorer winners.

And that’s not to say that the song is bad - of course, it isn’t. Apart from using the same sample Minecraft uses for the sound of breaking glass, there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s really good at hyping the viewer up from start to finish, it has a great interplay between the verses and the choruses (I don’t even mind that the verses are rapped, even though that usually puts me off a little bit). The bridge is good, and the undressing cyborg helps the song convey its message, but I just can’t enjoy it anymore. This song’s vocal fans have really soured it for me.

Albania - It’s All About You

Performed by
Juliana Pasha
Language
English

There’s a lot to talk about here, so let’s start with something simple: styling. I love to complain about styling, so let me do something completely opposite and compliment it: I truly believe that this is the best-styled performance of the year. All costumes fit together perfectly, and I hope the Albanian delegation gave their stylists a handsome bonus for their work. Going with mostly black outfits was the correct choice - black always looks elegant and never seems out of place. Only Juliana herself got some metallic patterns on her outfit to highlight that she’s the lead here. Thankfully, it doesn’t look kitschy, which is often a big problem with metals on clothes. I’ll also compliment the backing singers’ elegant black dresses separately because they really highlight their forms and give them an extra dash of class (I’m so glad the camera focuses on them from time to time - they really deserved the extra spotlight). They remind me of the muses from Hercules - except dressed in black and not white. This leaves us with the violinist, who’s also dressed in a simple black costume but has a very purposefully messy head of hair (check the link at the end of this review for why it’s purposeful) that gives him just a slight feeling of unhingedness, which fits really well with his slightly unhinged violin solo, but more on that later. In general, all five performers have great haircuts too. This is certainly my Anja Nielssen award of the year - (c) Cookiefonster, 2024.

This is all well and good, but is the song any good? Well, yeah! It’s great. It’s a song that just feels like it can’t be from any year other than 2010 but in a charming and timeless manner. It’s the kind of EDM song that doesn’t sound generic at all. It sounds very much like an American song, which isn’t a coincidence, as the backing singers are American as well. Even the FiK version sounds quite American as well. For once, I don’t mean this in a negative way. It’s a really excellently composed and produced song - and, this time, the revamp really worked out well as the Eurovision version has a much punchier instrumental that really hypes the viewer up, and the lyrics flow much better. I have a sneaking suspicion that it was initially made in English and only then translated into Albanian without any intent to send the Albanian version to Eurovision. It would certainly explain why the lyrics are just so much better in English.

But, of course, this is a live show, and every song lives and dies by its live performance - even though this is supposedly a “song contest”, and therefore, the song itself must trump the performance. But still, every part of the package is important - some are more important, but they’re all still important. Luckily, they all deliver it perfectly. Juliana has just a tinge of accent that makes this song stand out a little more, while the backing singers counteract it with their American accent (which is how most people are taught to sing in English even if the rest of their education uses British English - ask me how I know). None of them drift off-key, which is great. I can always forgive a couple dud notes since this is a live performance in a fairly stressful situation, but I’ll always bump a song up for a flawless delivery. I also love the violin solo: it always manages to surprise me with how well it fits with the song, thanks to the violin also sounding very electronic. And I also love the way she sings at him after it’s finished and he has a flabbergasted expression on his face. It’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment that, somehow, makes me really appreciate the performance even more. Generally, Juliana is incredibly expressive while performing. She isn’t afraid of conveying a whole spectrum of emotions and making you feel them too. She simply has the passion so many other singers lack and really uses it to convince you as well.

I also want to give a special shoutout to the camera direction. Any performance can be killed by boring, static camera angles. This is why I’m glad that the Albanian delegation knew what they were doing and went for one of the most dynamic camera directions ever. It never feels dull because they switch it up every time. One second, you’re looking at a close-up of Juliana, then they zoom out to capture all of the stage and the wall of lights behind it, then they show the backing singers, then they move the camera back to Juliana. It’s genuinely exhilarating to watch. Also, I’m kinda glad this didn’t have any LEDs at its disposal, I think the simple wall of lights with a simple spectrogram effect works best for it.

It’s a huge shame that this only finished 16th, as it easily deserved a top-5 result and probably even a win. People are crazy biased against Albania, I’m telling you. My theory is that it really suffered because it came after Turkey, which had a flashier performance and before Iceland, which had a similar song. But at least the producers didn’t get a chance to put this 2nd in the running order because they hate Albania. And no, it’s never too early to complain about something as inherently unfair as the producer-made running order. You can expect a nice long rant from me about it in 2013.

One of the backing singers actually wrote a blog post on her experience at Eurovision - it’s a fascinating read, you should give it a go. It’s always interesting to read about Eurovision from an American perspective (especially an American non-fan perspective), so I found it very enlightening. She also gives a lot of info about the way performers behaved backstage. It’s a really exciting read, and I had it saved in my bookmarks for over a year to make sure I don’t forget to share it here.

Iceland - Je ne sais quoi

Performed by
Hera Björk
Language
English

This ended up being my favourite of the night back in 2010. There’s something so inherently infectious and likeable about Hera that makes basically everyone I know enjoy this song as well (except for a single person who hates it). It’s another fun, energetic EDM song that always manages to entertain me. While it grew off me over the years a little because of its simplicity, I still enjoy it. But it means that I don’t have a lot to say about it because it’s fairly generic overall, though that really isn’t a bad thing because it’s still enjoyable.

Ukraine - Sweet People

Performed by
Alyosha
Language
English

Watching this makes me remember the drama around this, which makes me incredibly mad. Let me summarise why this song’s background is responsible for our next couple entries all being very typical and not particularly interesting.

It all started with the selection of Vasyl Lazarovych, who’s a great vocalist and a very versatile performer. Now, he’s mostly a theatre singer and doesn’t have a lot of original repertoire I can link here, so I’ll instead link his covers of some Ukrainian classics: Ochi Voloshkovi and Ya Pidu V Daleki Gory. But his one original song I could find, called Liniya, is actually pretty good. I’m doing this to show that not only do I have no problems with him, but even think that he could’ve brought something of value to the Eurovision stage and been rewarded for it because he does really have an exceptional vocal - especially by the juries, who would’ve been all over his singing.

At first, nobody saw it as anything to be worried about. After all, Ani Lorak was selected in the same way; we only picked her song through an NF, and she finished second. So, this process clearly wasn’t broken. And they did give his unique vocal tone (a “velvet bass-baritone”, which is supposedly extremely rare) as the main reason why, which mollified just about everyone. When it came to the song selection though, erm, the options were transparently uncompetitive and failed to showcase any of his talents. They received 106 submissions overall, and I highly doubt that the 5 songs they selected were the best option overall. On 5 March 2010, the song I Love You was selected, Ukraine failed to qualify and-

No, of course, that’s not what happened. Now, first, I’ll give a weak defence of the song: it has some build-up, and the language change is executed fairly nicely. Still, it mostly just plods along for three minutes and just ends. People were absolutely livid about the whole thing. Accusations of corruption were being slung right away, and, honestly, they weren’t unfounded. He had connections to the head of our supreme court (the head’s daughter took part in filming some of his clips, and he was very evasive when talking about their connections). Of course, nobody budged on his selection until after the presidential election, the second round of which finished on 7 February 2010. Coincidentally, the leadership of our broadcaster resigned after a lot of public pressure and a petition to the president to intervene in the selection. This meant that the leadership of our broadcaster changed as well. They didn’t take any time to announce that a new selection would be held (and Lazarovych would be one of the participants). This was announced on 17 March. Just to remind you, the deadline for submitting the songs was on the 22nd. In the end, they managed to receive enough submissions to hold the next round on the 20th. Alyosha won it with the song To Be Free and sang it at Eurovisi-

No, of course, that’s not what happened. It turns out that her song was published on Amazon in 2008. So it would be replaced with the song that finished seco- oh, no, that one was plagiarised. So, third? In the end, Alyosha locked herself in the studio with her producers, wrote a new song all by herself, recorded it, and presented it to the public all in the span of 24 hours. So, if you get a feeling that this song sounds like a demo, then that’s basically because it is. They didn’t get any time to work on it further since they submitted it a couple days after the deadline.

This basically destroyed the faith of our musical industry in our broadcaster. After this, no self-respecting musician would apply to the NF because it was obviously a total disaster. It simply wasn’t worth anyone’s time. The only people who applied came with songs made specifically for Eurovision. This explains why we stuck to the same format of music until our huge change in direction in 2016.

Now that I’m done talking about this song’s background, let’s talk about the song. Honestly, I’m not all that fond of it when talking about it in a vacuum. It simply sounds incomplete, like there’s something missing. Of course, taking everything I’ve said before into account, it’s obvious why. This is why I’m not as harsh on it as I would’ve otherwise been. We were very lucky to not only eke out a qualification out of this messy and disorganised process but even a top 10 placement (by a considerable margin of 18 points both ways). In a way, it makes me proud that we have people with so much talent that they can make a top 10 Eurovision song in a single day. It makes me even more proud that she defied the odds, which locked her in as a certain non-qualifier, and very safely made it through.

Now, Alyosha is a very versatile singer. This song is quite close to her early output, though she branched out into many various genres afterwards. I definitely prefer her debut song Sneg to Sweet People. Her biggest hit is Feromony Lubvi, released in 2012. It was a big summer hit that year and has one of the most addictive choruses ever. Though my favourite song of hers is Kalyna from 2017. She finally released a song in Ukrainian (even incorporating some folk elements), and it’s such a banger. My favourite song of hers is Lebedi, which was released in 2021. She even released one of the only bilingual songs I actually enjoy in 2024 together with an Italian artist Fabio De Vincente called Via dall’Inferno [Rozbyty Vavylon]​. Pretty much all good musicians have their least impactful and interesting releases early on in their careers because they continuously learn and improve. And, honestly, if we had to have a returning artist (which we kinda don’t), I think Alyosha would be the best pick just so she could showcase herself with a song she had more than a day to work on.

France - Allez Ola Olé

Performed by
Jessy Matador
Language
French

This is probably the least musically complicated song of the year, but Jessy makes it work. He’s a very good dancer (which makes sense since this is what he did before he got into singing as well, according to the commentators), which makes it impossible for me to hate this song. It just feels so fun and inviting. It absolutely doesn’t surprise me that it did a lot better with the televote than with the juries, since Jessy isn’t exactly the best singer and the song isn’t really a beacon of originality or complexity (as I said before), which are the main criteria for the juries. Still, I’m glad they (mildly) appreciated the stage show he put on, as it led to a positive “overall impression of the act” (another criterion for the juries), so they at least didn’t place him last overall. While I don’t think it should’ve won, I wouldn’t have minded to see it in the top 10 at all.

Romania - Playing with Fire

Performed by
Paula Seling and Ovi
Language
English

While everyone was arguing about whether Azerbaijan, Germany or Israel would win, I was secretly hoping that this would end up winning. It just had everything going for it: a very catchy melody, simple lyrics that even I could understand, great vocals from both performers and even a fun and memorable staging. It’s basically impossible to hate this. Also, the live performance of this song is so much better than the studio recording because it lacks the billion unnecessary vocal effects that hide their amazing voices. It’s truly a song I can’t get tired of, and I’m happy it finished 3rd. In fact, it would’ve finished 2nd under the split system, which would’ve been even more deserved.

Russia - Lost and Forgotten

Performed by
Petr Nalitch and Friends
Language
English

According to the commentators, he became famous because he posted a recording of himself playing music to Youtube in 2007. It shows how important it is to keep up with the times. In general, the commentators were exceptionally positive about him and his song, they said that it was time that self-made artists like him took the front stage instead of manufactured producer projects that people forget about the day after the show. They even called him the future of Russian pop.

I, surprisingly, agree. One of my friends said that this is as Russian as you can get without singing in Russian. It has that quintessential feeling of melancholy that makes this feel really Russian and not like Swedish music commissioned to sound just ever so slightly Russian. My biggest wish would be for Petr to enunciate the words more clearly. However, he himself states that he sings this way on purpose because he doesn’t want to hide his origins, which I can respect. This is certainly way more enjoyable than all entries Russia will send after this, with just two exceptions.

Armenia - Apricot Stone

Performed by
Eva Rivas
Language
English

Fun fact: the duduk (the flute) was played by Djivan Gasparyan, who’s probably more famous than Eva Rivan herself. He’s been recording music since the 60s, wrote music for films since the 80s and is a generally acclaimed duduk player.

Now, the song itself is really nothing special. It’s definitely not bad, but it’s one of those songs that become less and less impressive every time I listen to it. I just begin to notice more and more flaws, like the fact that her vocals are distractingly bad; she’s way too breathy all the time. At least the lyrics are pretty good, and they manage to tell a really nice story despite a couple of awkward phrases. And I also like the staging with the tree growing from the huge apricot seed. Though I could’ve gone without the opening shot focusing on her boobs, I don’t really think that should’ve been allowed because it really isn’t artsy, it just feels crude.

Germany - Satellite

Performed by
Lena
Language
English

Here we have it, the proof that non-Nordic Western Europe finally started taking Eurovision seriously. While there was an occasional good entry from them before, they really didn’t care about sending anything of value to the contest in the prior decade, which means the good Western European entries in the 2000s can be counted on the fingers of one hand of a person who’s really careless while using a circular saw.

Now, Germany decided that they were tired of being either appropriately poorly rated or criminally underrated and decided to send a song that would appeal to everyone. But they clearly didn’t have enough talent for picking songs like this (or picking singers to perform them), so they decided to contact a man who could: Stefan Raab, who’s managed to give Germany a top 10 result every time he was involved. He organised a long process of singers singing covers of songs and getting eliminated, then presenting a couple songs that could’ve gone to Eurovision and finally selecting the winner. Better than that, it was all 100% televote, so the people were the only ones deciding on who were the worthy ones. That’s a good format and quite close to the one he’ll be using in 2024.

It was always considered a potential winner since its release (I was following the new releases and odds quite closely by this point), though people weren’t certain if her persona would appeal to the viewers enough, so most people considered Israel and Azerbaijan to be safer bets. Still, Germany did something most of Western Europe considered to be above them and actually spent a considerable amount of effort promoting it all over Europe, including in the East. I certainly remember it being played on the radio in Ukraine before the contest. So it doesn’t surprise me that it (alongside Israel and Azerbaijan) pulled ahead of everyone else by a considerable margin. People clearly noticed that Germany was in it to win and not just to sponsor everyone else’s participation.

In the end, the rehearsals sealed the deal. Everyone thought that her simple “girl-next-door” sort of style would indeed appeal to both the viewers and the juries. Her song ticked all of the criteria for the juries, it was late in the running order and catchy, which would work really well for the viewers. It was also followed by two ballads, which would make it stand out, even though one of those ballads was another favourite.

I think this song is simply irresistible. I know that people have a problem with the way she sings it, as well as her accent, but I guess I’m just used to hearing all sorts of accents to the point where I really don’t mind hers. In fact, I find it rather charming and cute. It’s simply a good, appealing pop song, and it certainly deserved to win. There’s one line I find a little awkward, specifically “I bought new underwear, they’re blue”, but, otherwise, they’re pretty good. There are some fun, clever metaphors, which I appreciate. In general, from now on, Germany will pay close attention to having good lyrics in their songs, which is commendable. But I wish they had more performers like Lena, people that are enthusiastic and charming. It’s honestly impossible to be mad at this winning unless you’re Turkish and keep being mad about this winning for a decade and a half.

I’m also happy that this winning made the rest of Western Europe start taking this contest more seriously. It showed them that they all could win it as long as they had an appealing song. I don’t think it has anything to do with the juries being brought back as it took until 2024 for the juries to override an Eastern European televote winner (the televote winner in 2011 wasn’t overridden; the overall winner in 2016 was still Eastern European; while the televote winners in 2015, 2019 and 2023 weren’t Eastern European). It simply means that everyone stepped up their game and started putting in more money and effort. And, of course, most Eastern European countries can’t compete with proper Western European budgets, so it’s simply a natural consequence of that.

Portugal - Há dias assim

Performed by
Filipa Azevedo
Language
Portuguese

I’m happy that Portugal qualified, but they surely must’ve had something more engaging at FdC that year, right? I’ll go check.

An hour and a half later

Wow, yeah, they did have quite a few considerably more interesting options. I think the best option would’ve been Pássaro Saudade, which feels like a continuation of their 2009 effort (lovely, cute, very Portuguese-feeling) or Arco-Íris Dentro De Mim, a fairly dramatic entry more reminiscent of their 2008 entry. Another good option would’ve been Canta por Mim, which is a banging pop song with a Portuguese twist; it’s so fun and sassy and is actually my personal favourite (it would’ve easily made it to my personal top 10 this year). The fact that it was just one point away from winning (it actually won the televote) makes it all the more disappointing. I think that either of these songs would’ve stood out enough to qualify as well and maybe even do better. An entry I really like but don’t think would’ve done better is Quem É Que Será?, which would’ve heavily fought with Bosnia for a spot in the final, and we all know that Bosnia barely made it through. But it’s a lovely guitar-driven song that transforms into something rockier in the chorus. But I would’ve enjoyed this a lot.

As for the actual Portuguese entry this year, well. I’m really not a fan. In my rankings of FdC 2010, it ended up being 21st/24, which is a really poor result. But it’s just a very indistinct ballad and I’m not fond of Filipa’s voice either, she’s a bit too nasally. But I’m still happy for Portugal for qualifying, they were on a 3-year qualification streak by now, which they wouldn’t match until 2023.

Israel - Milim

Performed by
Harel Skaat
Language
Hebrew

As the ESC fandom really loved their ballads back in those days (and, honestly, can we bring back loving ballads and not inane girlbops fans glaze these days despite them being absolutely horrible the majority of time), this was immediately propelled to the top of the odds for quite a while. And I can see why, this is pure jury bait, but, in theory, could also appeal to the viewers.

Though it really doesn’t surprise me that he had a voice crack during his performance. The composition just doesn’t leave him any time to breathe or relax, it’s unrelenting and pushy, to the point where I get way too overwhelmed by it close to the end and want nothing more than for it to stop. It just makes me unable to connect with it, so I’m not surprised to learn that he only earned 27 points from the televote, which would’ve placed him 19th had pure televoting been used. It’s just very hard to connect with. The juries, who mostly rated vocals for the first few years until the current jury criteria were set out, gave this a huge push, of course.

The female commentator was incredibly disappointed after the performance because, according to her, this was her favourite. To remind you, her 2008 favourite was The Fire in Your Eyes, also from Israel - the lady just likes Israeli ballads sung by talented vocalists

Denmark - In a Moment like This

Performed by
Chanée and N’evergreen
Language
English

And, here we have it, the most problematic performer of the year: Tomas N’evergreen, the man who’s lived in Russia since 2003 and has supported Putin for almost as long. It truly baffles my mind that someone born in Denmark could go to Russia and say, “Yeah, you know, this shithole is a better place to live”. Though he does have a lot of money, which makes living there considerably better. He also took part in the Russian selection in 2009. Still, I won’t let these facts affect my opinions of the song itself.

The song itself, surprisingly, manages to appeal to me. And I know, it’s one of the most banal songs in the competition with very little musical value, but I can’t help but enjoy it anyway. It’s like eating at McDonalds: sometimes, you just crave a shitty cheeseburger and fries. But it is genuinely catchy. This is Thomas G:son we’re talking about, so it has every trope thrown in: a wind machine working overtime, pyro kicking in at the same time as the key change and so on. But I’ll give it two things: the semi-transparent screen between them at the start is quite cool, and they repeat the “pull apart” effect physically after starting the performance, with the TV screens pulling apart, which is quite clever. This obviously got the result it did because it had a memorable staging and came at the end. But this was also what the ESC audiences were responsive to at the time, so there couldn’t have been a better year for it to compete.

I found a funny article talking about this entry and Thomas G:son (and the other songwriters/composers) said that they submitted this entry to Melodifestivalen, of course, but also to DMGP because they “thought it had more of a Danish sound to it”. I don’t think there’s a better way to insult a whole country, although they’re right, this does sound like a quintessential DMGP entry.

General thoughts

Sorry this took so long to finish, I had a fairly rotten month. I won’t promise that I’ll be more consistent, but I hope 2011 won’t take as long.

I found this year to be even more enjoyable than 2009, the final had a fairly steady quality to it with very few songs I dislike (of course, you can easily tell which ones those are). The jury influence was fairly evident here with the amount of ballads that got to the final, but I’d rather have ballads than girlbops, so this is all fine by me.

I think a huge part of the reason why I liked this year is the hosting style. I’ve always been an opponent of the excessive extravagance Eurovision seems to invite from broadcasters, which makes it expensive to host, expensive to take part in and, ultimately, unattractive to a lot of countries. More broadcasters could take a hint from NRK this year that there’s no need for opulence when it only hides the fact that the song lineup is insanely mediocre (which is basically what happened in 2011-2017).

After Spain performed again, we got the recap (with clips from live performances being used, as evidenced by the voice crack from the Israeli performance shown during the first recap - though they quickly changed to a different recap slot for the second recap). We also got a pre-filmed insert of the hosts and contestants all interacting with each other, which the commentators talked over to explain what was happening instead of letting it just play. I wish they just put subtitles on it instead.

While the votes were being verified, we were treated to a pretty cool interval act called “Glow”. I really like that it involved the audience as well, trying to make “the biggest flash mob ever”. While the music could’ve been a little more varied, I still thought it was a great way to involve everyone. And it must’ve been fairly cheap to produce as well, so props to NRK for making something so entertaining without having to spend millions.

Now, the voting wasn’t exactly suspenseful. While there were frequent changes at the top at first, with Denmark leading after the first two votes, then Belgium and then Greece, it was very brief as Germany established itself as a clear leader after the votes from Croatia, while Turkey established itself as a runner-up. From that point on, Germany kept pulling away from the rest of the countries, and it became impossible to catch up after the votes from the Netherlands, which were the 33rd country. The battle for last was a lot more entertaining to watch. For most of the voting, Belarus was clearly last with just 3 points. But then Moldova gave them 3 points, and Georgia awarded them the highest mark of 12 points, which put them above the UK at the last possible moment, which is disappointing as not even the UK was as bad as Belarus.

On that note, I’ll see you all in Düsseldorf for the 2011 contest.

Results

In a way, I wish I could have a double winner this year because both songs are truly amazing, but if I have to choose just one, I’ll pick Albania because it simply impressed me more watching it through this time.

  1. Albania - It’s All About You (1st in SF1) (+15)
  2. Belgium - Me and My Guitar (2nd in SF1) (+4)
  3. Romania - Playing with Fire (1st in SF2) (=)
  4. Germany - Satellite (-3)
  5. Iceland - Je ne sais quoi (3rd in SF1) (+14)
  6. Lithuania - Eastern European Funk (2nd in SF2) (+22)
  7. Slovenia - Narodnozabavni rock (3rd in SF2) (+31)
  8. Switzerland - Il pleut de l’or (4th in SF2) (+31)
  9. Ireland - It’s for You (5th in SF2) (+14)
  10. Bosnia and Herzegovina - Thunder and Lightning (4th in SF1) (+7)
  11. Cyprus - Life Looks Better in Spring (6th in SF2) (+10)
  12. Russia - Lost and Forgotten (5th in SF1) (-1)
  13. Georgia - Shine (7th in SF2) (-4)
  14. Denmark - In a Moment like This (8th in SF2) (-10)
  15. Netherlands - Ik ben verliefd (Sha-la-lie) (9th in SF2) (+19)
  16. France - Allez Ola Olé (-4)
  17. Serbia - Ovo je Balkan (6th in SF1) (-4)
  18. Spain - Algo pequeñito (-3)
  19. Latvia - What For? (7th in SF1) (+18)
  20. Armenia - Apricot Stone (10th in SF2) (-13)
  21. Sweden - This Is My Life (11th in SF2) (+5)
  22. Ukraine - Sweet People (12th in SF2) (-12)
  23. Slovakia - Horehronie (8th in SF1) (+12)
  24. Finland - Työlki ellää (9th in SF1) (+3)
  25. Greece - Opa (10th in SF1) (-17)
  26. North Macedonia - Jas ja imam silata (11th in SF1) (+6)
  27. Turkey - We Could Be the Same (13th in SF2) (-25)
  28. Estonia - Siren (12th in SF1) (+3)
  29. Moldova - Run Away (13th in SF1) (-7)
  30. Portugal - Há dias assim (14th in SF1) (-12)
  31. Croatia - Lako je sve (14th in SF2) (+2)
  32. Israel - Milim (15th in SF2) (-18)
  33. Malta - My Dream (15th in SF1) (-4)
  34. Bulgaria - Angel si ti (16th in SF2) (+2)
  35. Norway - My Heart Is Yours (-15)
  36. United Kingdom - That Sounds Good to Me (-11)
  37. Azerbaijan - Drip Drop (17th in SF2) (-32)
  38. Poland - Legenda (16th in SF1) (-8)
  39. Belarus - Butterflies (17th in SF1) (-15)

Winners

I added underlines to show which winners I agree with and it turns out I only agree with six of them. Ouch.

  • Albania - 1 (2010)
  • Armenia - 1 (2006)
  • Austria - 1 (1965)
  • Belgium - 2 (1961, 2003)
  • Bosnia and Herzegovina - 1 (1999)
  • Croatia - 2 (2002, 2004)
  • Cyprus - 2 (1992, 1995)
  • Czechia - 1 (2007)
  • Denmark - 2 (_1963_, 1989)
  • Estonia - 1 (_2001_)
  • Finland - 3 (1974, 1985, 2008)
  • France - 5 (_1969_, 1976, 1977, 1979, 2009)
  • Germany - 3 (1957, 1972, 1978)
  • Iceland - 1 (2000)
  • Israel - 1 (1988)
  • Italy - 3 (1958, 1983, 1990)
  • Luxembourg - 3 (1956, 1964, 1973)
  • Malta - 1 (1991)
  • Monaco - 2 (1968, 1970)
  • Netherlands - 1 (_1959_)
  • Norway - 2 (1966, 1996)
  • Poland - 1 (1997)
  • Portugal - 2 (1967, 1984)
  • Russia - 1 (1994)
  • Slovenia - 1 (1993)
  • Spain - 2 (1971, 1982)
  • Sweden - 2 (1962, 1980)
  • Switzerland - 3 (1981, 1986, 2005)
  • Turkey - 1 (1975)
  • United Kingdom - 2 (1960, 1998)
  • Yugoslavia - 1 (1987)