After Lordi’s extremely deserved win, it was Finland’s turn to receive the contest, and they decided to do another production upgrade. From now on, Eurovision will be produced and broadcast in HD to allow us to see every tiny detail of every performance. And that was all done with 42 countries taking part - making it one of the biggest contests even to this day (only 2008, 2011 and 2018 would feature more countries - and a couple other years would also have 42). Initially, it was going to be even higher, as Monaco had expressed interest at first, and Azerbaijan didn’t join because their EBU membership was delayed, but it could’ve been 44 countries, with 30 of them competing in the semifinal. In the end, we got a slightly less terrible, but still really bad 28 countries in the semifinal. Four of them are new countries: Czechia, Georgia, Serbia and Montenegro. As Serbia and Montenegro had split into Serbia and Montenegro, both were now eligible to take part in Eurovision. Meanwhile, Georgia got that fancy new EBU membership. Austria and Hungary also returned (not as a single country, thankfully), and they had to compete in the semifinal as well.
With 18 non-qualifiers out of the 28 participants in this semifinal in total, this will be a long part. Still, there are plenty of songs I like here, so it won’t be a drag to review.
This is probably why the opening is extremely short. After a tiny opening act with tango and an ice theme (it’s Finland, so nobody should be surprised), we’re welcomed by this year’s hosts - Jaana Pelkonen and Mikko Leppilampi - who welcome us in Finnish, English and French and give a very quick rundown of what’s about to happen. After that, we got on with the music in just seven minutes.
Omgomgomgomg I’m so happy that Bulgaria qualified for the final. But that means I have to delay my review of their song until almost the very end and have to deal with the song that came after it - which is the Israeli entry.
And, I’ll be honest, I’m one of those total weirdos who actually like it. Alright, “like” is a bit of a strong word, but it has enough enjoyable moments for me to, well, enjoy it. Specifically, the verses - they’re actually really fun and catchy. There’s just this nice jumpy energy to them that I really enjoy. I also like the pre-chorus after the verse in French and even the rap part in Hebrew.
And yet, it has a huge flaw: the chorus. It’s just really, really bad. First of all, it seems like they mixed it extra loudly to make sure our ears die as soon as it starts (at least in the live version, the studio is fine). But that doesn’t fill me with rage, just disappointment. Every time I listen to this, I just wish it could’ve been better.
Here’s Cyprus, singing in French. Why? Why not? There’s no language rule anymore; Cyprus can sing in French, Latvia can sing in Italian - that’s all fine. I wish more countries took advantage of being able to sing in any language. Maybe someone should send a song in Swedish or German - neither of those countries will do it themselves.
So, here’s some backstory for this: even though my family hasn’t watched the semifinals yet, I found this performance on YouTube on purpose. After hearing it on the CD, I knew that I was, once again, in love with a song. And I knew that I had to see it being performed, so I just went on our family computer, typed the song title into the search bar and readied myself. And, obviously, I was heavily impressed by what I saw. It was dark, it was energetic, and it was in a language that I’ve been at least moderately obsessed with all of my life. But this song made that obsession go from moderate to severe and it is actually a huge reason why I’d spent eight years of my school education learning French. Basically, don’t expect my ranking to be super objective, that’s all I’m saying.
I really like the song in general though. It’s a nice EDM track; the instrumental is boppy and bouncy, and the staging fits very well. I especially like the emo-looking guitarist, he’s one of the highlights of the performance for me. Ahem, erm, I also think the fireworks are cool - because Finland has finally given every delegation easy access to pyro and fireworks (they were allowed in 2006, but every delegation had to bring their own pyro, so not a lot of them had elected to do so). Unfortunately, the live vocal performance is a bit lacking - Evridiki was the vocal queen in 1992 and 1994 (yes, that’s the same Evridiki), but she’s a bit too breathy now. I wonder if it’s just a little outside of her normal vocal range. Though she sounds perfectly fine in the studio - well, apart from having an accent while singing in French.
I like that 2007 has a high genre diversity, but I specifically appreciate the diversity of rock songs. This year has a very good variety of rock subgenres: there’s some energetic and jumpy rock, some heavy metal, symphonic rock and so on. This here is a really good rock ballad, performed exactly how it should be performed. I also think that Eiríkur’s voice suits it really well - it’s hard to believe that he sang Iceland’s debut entry in 1986 or Norway’s cheerful pop number in 1991.
I’ve also grown to appreciate the lyrics of this song due to repeated exposure (this song is one of many 2007 songs on my playlist). While it makes sense, as Iceland has a very high level of English proficiency, the lyrics are really great at getting the message across of him feeling trapped and out of his element. I can really feel the anguish in his performance, which matches the lyrics, which helps me appreciate it even more. It’s such a shame that a two-semifinal system wasn’t brought in this year.
Every person I know that can understand Montenegrin absolutely hates this song due to its laughably inane and trivial lyrics. And while that’s true, it’s still a bit of fun - though not much more than that, as it’s mostl unremarkable. But I don’t dislike it, that’s for sure.
Here’s a fun fact: this won OGAE voting and was leading the odds before the show. The reason? DJ BoBo is kind of a Big Deal in music. It’s always like this when huge artists enter Eurovision, though. Cascada was expected to do really well in 2013 as well, and the same goes for Ollie Alexander in 2024. However, Eurovision viewers really don’t care about the participants’ fame. They care about their song, the performance and other tangible things.
And, of course, neither DJ BoBo nor the woman singing along with him gave anything even resembling a good vocal performance. They’re both completely out of breath, especially the woman. And while I usually don’t care for the vocals, this is just way too distracting for me. And it’s honestly quite a shame, as I do enjoy the song in and of itself. It’s nice and dancey, and the lyrics are pretty funny. Plus, the staging is pretty great, too, and the dance routine is striking and memorable, even if I’m not too keen on mannequins (they look kinda creepy to me - though I’m sure that was the point). Basically, I’m just disappointed about the live performance - it definitely didn’t deserve to go through to the final with the way it was performed on the night. But I can still enjoy it in the studio, which is good enough for me.
It’s also a hell of a lot better than nearly all Swiss entries we’ve seen so far though (which isn’t a high bar, Switzerland has mostly been absolutely godawful up to this point).
Edsilia is as good of a performer as she was in 1998. What isn’t as good as in 1998 is the song she’s performing. While there isn’t a lot to dislike about it, there aren’t many things here to like either. That said, I’m a lot more used to the Dutch version since that’s the only one available on Spotify, and I do find it better, though not by much - the Dutch are good at adapting songs into English - which is why I don’t find it too disappointing that it got translated (though keeping it in Dutch would’ve made it stand out more - though maybe not positively as a lot of casual viewers probably don’t like the sound of Dutch). Basically, it’s alright - certainly not something I’d vote for in this semifinal of doom, but I always find it rather enjoyable.
This is super Albanian, super dramatic, very shouty, but it just doesn’t work for me too well. It’s definitely a fine entry, I don’t hate it or anything, but it just kinda passes me by for the most part. It’s certainly the weakest Albanian entry thus far (though not overall).
The first verse is actually a little promising, but the chorus immediately dashes all hope I’ve got away and makes me dread the other 2.5 minutes. The main issue with this song is that it has zero progression in it and stays absolutely static. In lieu of progression, the composers have decided to throw in some key changes to pretend like the song does go somewhere. Well, their tricks don’t work for me, and I can see right through it! Actually, I can’t believe they had the gall to use a double key change in the 21st century, which gives it an extra cheap and dated feel. And the vocal performance is really bad as well, especially the final long note, which feels like the final nail in the coffin. Luckily, there’s a much better drag entry this year, but it was pre-qualified for the final, so I won’t get to it until much later.
I always enjoy this when I feel like I’m in the right mood for it. It’s dark, it’s moody and it’s (partly) in a Slavic language. And I actually find the interplay between the Croatian and English parts to be pretty cool. I usually dislike language changes, but only when a song isn’t built around them. But this song feels like it was indeed made with having two languages in it in mind. I also really like that it’s a duet, which adds some extra flavour to it, as all other rock entries this year are solo performances.
The 60s big band bits in swing rhythm are almost not awful, but the rest of the song is just plainly shit. The staging is bafflingly ugly, the man just looks so smug and punchable, he kills any potential enjoyment of the song for me. The woman isn’t such a terrible singer, but she can’t save this song at all. At its core, it’s one of those entries that’s trying to make me feel fun and failing at it from start to finish, making this a genuinely painful experience.
Let’s all welcome Czechia. In a way, Czechia’s and Slovakia’s debuts are weirdly similar. Both have sent their biggest rock bands, which are way bigger than most Eurovision winners could only hope to be (the only participant with more fame across all of Europe this year was, ironically, DJ BoBo). Even my mum knows about them, and she’s about as far from a metal fan as you can possibly get. After all, there’s a reason why this is the most streamed song from this year on Spotify (and that’s even though 2007 was years before Spotify had appeared).
Personally, I think this is a really great example of classic hard rock (some people call this “dad rock”, which is kinda true, but not a negative at all - at least in my opinion). Most of all, I like that they didn’t make any compromises while composing it. There are no affordances for a casual, non-rock audience, unlike in nearly every other rock entry in Eurovision. It’s presented in a way that only appeals to people already into the genre (which I am, of course). I suppose this is why I enjoy this so much: it’s extremely un-Eurovisiony and actually sounds like something I’d listen to in my real life (well, it actually is something I listen to - among other Kabat songs). But it certainly has no appeal to any people who aren’t into hard rock. After all, the Eurovision winner is often the most accessible song of the bunch, not the “best” (if it’s even possible to define a “best” song in any meaningful way). That’s why I completely understand why it failed to qualify, even though it should’ve easily gone through according to my tastes.
I’m also gonna pull out the lyrics card for this song, which I rarely do as I don’t particularly care about lyrics. But they’re just so well-written, and it makes me sad that most people can’t appreciate them because they can’t speak a Slavic language. So you’ll just have to trust me when I say that they’re pretty much the total opposite of what you might expect based on the singing. They’re very actually romantic and gentle, and I really like the dissonance between them and the performance. To sum up, they’re singing about a lady whom the singer has fallen in love with and wants to die with her one day (of old age, at least that’s how I’m interpreting it). She collects coins from fountains, picks up blades of grass, and does palmistry and other cute things.
The one weak point in this entry is its staging. While it does give off a nice concert vibe, with five middle-aged men just vibing on stage, I think it could’ve benefitted from some more flashiness. Perhaps some pyro during the chorus, maybe fireworks at the end - I don’t know exactly what, I’m not a staging director, but it just needed a tiny bit of something to hype up the viewers watching it for the first time. It even took me a little bit to warm up to this.
That said, in no way did it deserve to come dead last with a single point. Sure, a qualification was basically impossible, but they should’ve at least finished somewhere in the 10s. Still, Kabat went on, and I’m not sure they even remember their Eurovision participation at this point. It definitely wasn’t a major event in their long career.
It’s honestly quite easy to see why this was the song closest to qualifying (11th place). It’s a fun and light Latin-feeling song that seems especially nice and fluffy after the Czech entry. Though I can’t say I find it to be anything more than middling - while I wouldn’t have minded it qualifying, I prefer Moldova and North Macedonia over this. This is why I wish this year had a two-semi system because more than ten songs should’ve gone through into the final, while some of the songs that were pre-qualified for the final had no place there (but we’ll get there when we get there).
Norway always has a Latin-inspired song at MGP and it seems like one of those songs actually won in 2007. It definitely isn’t bad, but it’s also hardly good. Still, it’s fun and enjoyable and I’m glad it exists, though I can’t help but wonder about the rest of the 2007 MGP: surely there must’ve been better options (not that I’m going to check).
The Maltese delegation clearly wanted more and went on a shopping spree on Amazon for discounted props. If you look at the national final performance, you can see that they’ve got a violinist and a gongist (gonger?), but otherwise it’s nice and coherent. But I actually find both the song and the performance absolutely hilarious, thanks to the additions. From the opening with the gong to the backing dancers swinging white towels, this performance manages to entertain me just way too much for me to dislike it. Also, let’s add the (mostly likely unintentionally) hilarious lyrics that sound like they were written by the AI, and you get something I just thoroughly enjoy despite my mind telling me that it’s bad. Basically, just put it with the other funny, campy Eurovision stuff that never fails to lift my mood. Also, we need more songs that rhyme “vertigo” and “indigo.” This rhyme is super cheesy but loveable.
And here we have everyone’s favourite entry from Andorra (it isn’t my personal favourite, but I still really like it). I’ve always had a soft spot for pop punk, which has always been highly underrepresented in Eurovision, which is why I have a soft spot for this (as well as two other pop-punk songs that we’re going to cover later).
Even though I like a few other non-qualifiers more as songs, this is the one I feel the sorriest for. Andorra has, of course, never qualified in six of their participations, even though, in my opinion, five of them were good enough to qualify. So to see them failing to qualify by a margin of just 11 points (they got 80 points and Moldova got 91, but Andorra got points from more countries and would’ve won the tiebreak - not that I’d want Moldova to NQ since I like their entry as well).
It’s a really genuine effort, too, which is even sadder. The vocal performance is a bit divisive - I’ve heard several people say that they can’t stand the way the lead singer sounds - but I’m on the side of the divide that firmly likes his vocals. It feels so energetic and alive, which is perfectly suited for this genre (I feel safe in saying this as a huge pop-punk enjoyer).
I also just simply like the music. It’s energetic, it’s fast, it’s fun - it’s just everything I could expect from a song like this. And sure, some might say that it’s too tropey - it definitely sounds like any other pop-punk song. And my response would be that they’re right, it’s fairly standard, but so are many other songs in Eurovision - very few of them are highly original. And it’s (partially) in Catalan, which definitely makes it stand out from other similar songs I know.
Speaking of Catalan, this is one of several songs that execute the “non-English verses/English chorus” trope really well. It really does feel like the song was designed around having the language switch (and it almost certainly was - the lead singer, Nick Gain, was born in Andorra but lives in Britain, so they definitely wanted to take advantage of his English skills). But it makes sense for one reason (bear with me). Here’s a fun fact about Catalan for you: like English and unlike almost all Romance languages, it’s stress-timed, not syllable-timed. This makes it fit particularly well with English since the flow of the melody doesn’t need to change. In fact, Portuguese is the exact same, which is why language changes from Portuguese to English are way less jarring.
Just like many other countries this year, Estonia went for something rockish. Sadly, it just isn’t particularly interesting, even though I kinda like the vibe of the music - chill and fun. But the most interesting thing I can offer about this is that Gerli is actually Tanel Padar’s sister. Though I should make it clear that I don’t hate this, I just find it disappointing. The Estonian version is kinda nice though, but I can’t say it’s much better - I probably prefer it simply because of the language.
While I’m not heartbroken that this didn’t qualify, it’s a plain fun song. It’s certainly one I find myself returning to pretty often, and I think that’s just because of how joyous it is. The vocal performance leaves a lot to be desired (even though his falsetto doesn’t bother me for some reason), but it makes up for that in pure vibes. And they said disco was dead.
Also, I love a bit of vocoder, so seeing it used so extensively here is awesome. Eurovision usually shies away from vocal effects, even though the rules don’t prohibit them (only pitch correction). In fact, reverb is usually generously applied to every performance to make it sound nicer, and nobody actually cares. So why shouldn’t the performers be allowed to take advantage of some more noticeable effects? I’m definitely on the side of people who want Eurovision to stay in touch with modern music, so I believe there’s nothing wrong with vocoding your vocals - even lead vocals - as long as all other rules are followed.
Though here’s one thing that annoys me about this: there’s a line that’s sung like “can you feel the love power (pause) all day” and it just makes me slightly disappointed because it breaks the flow a lot. Why couldn’t it have been something like “can you feel the love power flowing all day” or something. That would’ve preserved the flow much better.
Is this the second-worst song of the year? Definitely not, it’s actually alright. Its biggest flaw is that it’s entirely unremarkable. It pulls off every rock performance trope in the book to very little effect and ends up falling a little flat. It only managed to scrape four points from 42 participating countries despite its amazing running order, which should tell you everything. It probably could’ve ended up with zero points if it got drawn to perform like third. Still, I don’t dislike it by any means. It’s a fine rock song, and I bop my head along every time it comes up on Spotify. And the AIDS awareness message is also pretty nice, I approve of that as well. But it isn’t good enough to qualify - maybe it could’ve qualified in a weaker year.
The semifinal was a bit of a mixed bag. 28 songs is just too many to have in one show in general, let alone when only ten of them will qualify. While I believe that, for once, all of the qualifiers were deserved, I also believe that some of the non-qualifiers were thoroughly undeserved, but what can you do. Certainly, this should’ve been the first year with two semifinals, not the last one with just one. It definitely would’ve left a lot less what-ifs. What if this country qualified, what if that country qualified. But, in the end, this was all in the past, so there’s no reason to get stuck on it. At least I can still listen to any of these songs, unlike relegation, which would’ve prevented a lot of great songs from existing.
And at least the interval act was awesome. Just like most 2000s interval acts, it focused on dancing and folk music, which is great. I definitely don’t want to listen to more songs after having listened to 28 songs already. But then, Finland really went all out in general, broadcasting Eurovision in HD for the first time and getting really nice and likeable hosts (I’ll really regret these words in the final).
The qualifier reveal was probably unintentionally exciting, even though I already knew the result. Qualifying 10 out of 28 countries is just too little and ensures that there will be at least a couple robberies. I definitely think that more than 10 entries should’ve gone through. On the other hand, some of the automatic qualifiers are pretty dreadful, so I’d easily trade them for some of the entries here.
Still, that’s all on the EBU, not on Yle. Yle did all they could to make 28 songs fit into the broadcast slot allocated to this show. It was obvious that they had to shorten the opening and interval acts to account for around 15 extra minutes of performances (4 x 3 (= 12) minutes for the songs themselves and about 4 x 45 (= 180) seconds (which is 3 minutes) for the postcards). But oh well, this was in the past, and I can’t change the outcome. But I think Andorra would’ve kept taking part if they’d qualified at least once.
It’s the final, and Finland decided to remind everyone that they still rock (ha, ha, ha) by showing us Lordi! Near the Arctic Circle!! With explosions!!! That’s just plain awesome. And they even transitioned into actual Lordi performing on the Eurovision stage. At the end of this sequence, they did a sweeping shot of the audience going absolutely crazy and stopped on Krisse Salminen, who’s going to cause me a headache by the end of the evening.
We’re introduced to our main hosts, who say the same stuff the hosts always say about voting, the participating countries and so on. I don’t think there’s any reason to recap it here. But they manage to do it in around two minutes, so we begin the first song in just 07:42 minutes from the first note of Te Deum.
Even though it’s pretty slow, I actually think it makes for a rather good opener. It’s epic and mysterious, but it’s also quite flashy. In a way, I could compare it to the 1998 opener (coincidentally, also an ex-Yugoslav country). Both were fairly slow ballads with some flashiness to them. I also really like the instrumental, it has a nice use of folk instruments, which is what I expect to hear from ex-Yugoslav countries in general during this era. Still, I can’t say it grips me too much, I’ve heard other songs that do the same things this does, but better.
This is exactly the kind of song I enjoy, but don’t put too high. It’s joyful, it’s danceable, it’s upbeat, and the performers are likeable. There’s nothing wrong with this on a technical level at all. I always have a lot of fun while watching this. But it’s ultimately rather forgettable, especially as the show goes on and we witness more impressive songs since it has approximately no progression at all. It’s never easy to get drawn to perform second, but someone has to, and if it has to be this song, then I’m totally ok with that.
Also, this was composed by everyone’s favourite Thomas G:son, which should be immediately evident. It just has this faux-ethnic Swedish feel to it - not that I mind that style too much, it can still be fun.
Welcome to the grand final for the first time, Belarus. For the first and last time, the Belarusian entry was clearly designed to win. The composition invokes the oh-so-popular Bond feel we’ve encountered many times before and will encounter even more often later on. Of course, it’s composed by the ever-present Kirkorov, who’s made way too many Eurovision entries - and songs in general. And oh my god, you can hear it. It’s such a classic Kirkorov composition, it’s impossible not to recognise his style right away. The staging is also very obviously handled by Fokas, the man who loves to put huge props on stage with people interacting with them in some way (or inside them). And the singer has a very thick accent in English, to the point where it’s hard to understand what he’s singing at times - again, very typical for the time. In general, it’s a very typical Eastern European entry for the time - destined to score highly (partially because of its quality, partially because of bloc voting), but not to win. But it’s hard to deny that it’s good - Kirkorov knows what he’s doing after all.
Also, go take a listen to the Russian version, I think it’s a little better. He obviously has no accent while singing in Russian, but the instrumental is also a little different - and better. I don’t really know why they decided to remove the guitars from the instrumental, but they obviously didn’t matter too much. And it’s also 3:30 minutes long, not 3 minutes like the ESC version, which works really good, especially close to the end as it has a really cool outro (which obviously had to be cut for Eurovision).
Since I’m currently visiting my mum (she’s in Lithuania right now), she actually walked past me while I was watching this and remarked that she really liked this song and even voted for it on the night.
For me, this is one of those “but the studio version” songs. Sure, the live performance didn’t really work out - ok, it really didn’t work out. Not only does she sound drunk - she looks drunk as well. There’s this weird cross-eyed look that’s telling me she’s had more than one drink before going out to perform. And the way she’s swaying around doesn’t help me change my perception of it at all. But it definitely had a lot of potential as a song and a performance, and it could’ve avoided last place for sure. So, even though its result wasn’t undeserved based on the performance on the night, I’m gonna cut it a bit of slack because I like the song in the studio.
Also, here’s a fun fact: I used to think nothing was wrong with this back in 2007, when my knowledge of English was basically nonexistent. It’s not like I could tell she was slurring her words or anything; to me, it just sounded like any other song with English lyrics.
There’s no better host entry for Finland than a hard rock song. But I’m glad that it’s very different from Hard Rock Hallelujah, sometimes countries tend to get stuck sending the exact same song that brought them success. This is definitely a song that appeals to me a lot and shows the best side of rock music. It has a very engaging instrumental with a lot of progression and variety, a really good and strong performance that engages me from start to end and, something I rarely remark upon, really good lyrics. I often find myself humming it - and not just the chorus this time - and unlike some other songs I end up humming, I never feel annoyed by it. It’s definitely one of those good songs that don’t really lend themselves to a lot of analysis though, so I’ll leave this here.
North Macedonia got pushed into the final because of bloc voting once again, but I actually don’t mind it too much this time for some reason. The song is genuinely good and exciting, listening to it feels fun and stimulating, probably due to the 7/8 beat (North Macedonia really liked this time signature, but I’m absolutely not complaining). I also really like the part in Macedonian, it’s so fun to pick out words I know and try to piece together what they mean (I don’t think I’ve ever looked up the lyrics). Sadly, the English part just isn’t anywhere near as good, which disappoints me a lot because that’s what’s going to stick with me after the song ends. I wish they could’ve switched back to Macedonian for just one chorus.
I guess you already know my opinion of opera, so it should come as no surprise that I didn’t enjoy this at all. Sure, she can sing, and it’s technically impressive, but that’s all it is to me: technically impressive. Opera very rarely is anything more than suffering for me. Though I have to admit, the slightly dancey backing track makes this a lot easier to sit through. Also, this was composed by Andrej Babić, who also composed the entry for Bosnia in 2005 and for Croatia in 2003. Remember his name as it’s going to be important in 2008.
I’ve been sitting here, trying to write a review for almost a day now. The thing is, I don’t like blues - it just isn’t my genre. And yet, I think this is actually really nice for whatever reason. So I want to try and figure out why I like this.
First of all, I really like her performance. It has a kind of rawness and sincerity to it, which really appeals to me. I think this kind of song really requires this, and she sings it with such conviction that it’s hard not to believe her. This kind of song needs this extra hard to sell it to me, so I’m glad that she managed to do this.
I also like that it’s very spoken word-like. While I usually don’t enjoy spoken word entries, this one makes it work. And I think that’s all because the instrumental is so laid-back and freeform. It certainly sets my expectations of the song properly, which is the most important thing.
That said, I still won’t have it too high because it just isn’t my thing, but I can respect this song’s existence.
This entry has something Lithuania can often pull off well: class. The whole song and performance are very classy and artsy. It’s easy to remember the performance, with the silhouettes, to the point where this is what my mind brings up when I listen to the song. And while this was probably intentional, it feels like the song meanders too much and doesn’t have a proper climax. But that doesn’t mean it’s bad: for once, I actually enjoy a fairly progressionless song. It’s just nice and chill, with very lovely vibes. It definitely should’ve scored better, but I understand why it didn’t.
This is a song that predictably does well but isn’t actually interesting at all to me. Sure, it’s a bit of a bop, but I can’t begrudge Greece for sticking to a formula that worked for them. And it does provide some fun after Lithuania’s more downbeat entry and some normalcy before…
…this. Now, don’t take this as a criticism of this entry because I love it. But you have to admit, it’s a very typical Georgian entry, i.e. “huh???? what????” kind of song Georgia is so fond of sending (most of the time, they’ve had some super dull duds as well). Certainly, their strategy doesn’t always work out, which is why they had to resort to a (terrible) girlbop to finally qualify in 2024, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
I’m glad that Georgia decided to take a risk right from the get-go. And I’m even happier that it paid off - this is definitely one of the best entries of the year. It’s actually quite hard to pick apart, but I’ll try anyway. It starts off very mysteriously, with Sopho pretty much talking to some background music, but it quickly picks up and then decides to completely change the style for the chorus, becoming a lot more electronic-feeling. Even Sopho’s singing feels a little synthetic (could she be using a very slight vocoder effect? I think that might be possible). I also like the shouty singing here, it really fits the style of the song. Also, the sword fighting break is so much more fun than the dance breaks most other songs have. We need more sword fighting in Eurovision!
For a change, Sweden decided to take a break from schlager and sent some old-school rock-and-roll. And I actually really enjoyed it! It’s very unlike what Sweden usually sends, and I always enjoy it when countries take a break from their usual styles to surprise everyone. Unfortunately, every time Sweden tries to do this, they end up scoring really poorly and always go back to regular swedopop afterwards. But I can see why this didn’t do too well: it just isn’t very memorable, especially in a year full of way more interesting songs like 2007. Still, I’m really glad Sweden went out of their comfort zone this time.
The first thing to note is that it seems like Belarus and France used the same string sample. It’s always the first thing that jumps out to me when I’m rewatching the year. Now, this doesn’t mean any plagiarism or foul play. In fact, it’s totally normal for this to happen, especially when you get over 40 different songs all competing at once. There are 861 possible pairs for the songs, so it’s statistically likely that at least one pair will have used the same sample. Especially if that sample is generally popular or was discounted at some point. It’s basically just a fun fact.
As for the song itself, I love it. I think it’s genuinely hilarious. The French often take themselves seriously, at least internationally, so it’s very refreshing to see them openly make fun of themselves. It’s like we’re being allowed to watch the actual way French people behave. And by that, I mean mocking Paris. It’s a sad fact that most of the negative stereotypes about the French mostly apply to Parisians. If you visit Marseille or Lille, you’ll find that most people there are super nice and ecstatic to hear you trying (and failing) to piece together a semi-coherent sentence in French (ask me how I know). So the fact that the song just randomly drops the famous places in Paris with the thickest English accent can’t be taken as anything but mocking it and the status of Paris in the international perception of France.
But I also just genuinely find this a good song. It has loads of progression and interesting musical flourishes, so listening to it never gets old. Basically, it’s just a good punk rock song, though toned down for Eurovision, of course. But I thoroughly enjoy it from its slow and normal start to the hectic chorus, to the instrumental break and to the end. I also love one of the singers running around the stage during one of the choruses, it’s an image I’ll never stop associating with this song.
Basically, well done to France for stepping out of their comfort zone of sounding ultra-French. It’s a shame this didn’t work out, though they aren’t going to return to their comfort zone just yet (here’s some foreshadowing for you all).
Roberto Meloni, who moved from Italy to Latvia some time before 2007, must’ve really missed having his home country in Eurovision. So he gathered some of his Latvian friends and decided to enter the most Italian-sounding song ever into the Lativan national selection. And he actually won it! I’m sure he was overjoyed because he’d be able to inject some Italian culture into Eurovision.
And I’m actually glad this is here. Sure, it’s quite cheesy, but in a good way. It’s clear that Roberto cared about representing Italian music as accurately as possible. They also took care to not be annoying despite being operatic - or that might be my bias for male opera singing. While I can’t stand sopranos, I can easily stomach males singing in an operatic style, it just doesn’t provoke any annoyance or rage in me.
It also got a very lucky draw in the semifinal. I don’t think it would’ve qualified if it had been drawn to perform, oh, I don’t know, 8th or something. It ended up being the lowest-placed qualifier in the final, coming at just 16th place. Even the bare qualifier that was Moldova still managed 10th place in the final. This suggests that it’s the kind of song that’s heavily reliant on its performance order.
Ah, Sebero. They were quite popular when I was growing up, but then they got themselves into a lot of controversy because it turned out that they almost never sang live. Even here, you can already use your ears and realise that we never hear the backing vocals because they’re obviously pretending to be the lead, while the lead is simply miming to the backing vocals (I suppose it would be more correct to say that we don’t hear the lead vocals).
That said, I quite like the song. It sounds exactly like the kind of music I used to listen to while growing up, so it evokes a nostalgic feeling in me. It may not be a good song, but it’s a fun and memorable song. And even if the girls aren’t singing live, the performance is still sassy and cool, which always makes me enjoy something more. Though I have to wonder how the EBU censors missed the word “bitches” in the song. They definitely wouldn’t have allowed it these days.
As for the voting, it’s true that they mostly got votes from other ex-USSR countries, but I bet you that they had done a huge promotional tour across them - something Western Europe never seemed to bother with.
It’s hard to believe that this is the last time Germany has sent a song in German. Sure, some countries are less eager to show off their language, but such a huge gap is unusual (only Latvia and Sweden are on a longer streak, and Denmark’s 1999-2021 streak is longer as well). While I’m not that fussed by countries not using their native language, I certainly prefer it when they do choose to do just that simply because it’s more interesting.
Now, I kinda enjoy jazz - at least occasionally. While it isn’t a genre I’d seek out on purpose, I like it when it comes up. And this sounds as jazzy as it gets, with the double bass, the brass instruments and the piano all sound quite freeform (even though they obviously aren’t as they’re prerecorded). Still, it has a lot of variety and progression - and I’m sure you all know that I love it when songs actually evolve over the course of their runtime. It’s one of those songs that never get old, no matter how many times you listen to them. Even if this sounds totally familiar to me nowadays, I still feel entertained and mentally stimulated after listening to it. Also, I’ll give the song huge props for actually managing to pull off the language change, as it feels totally natural and organic, to the point where I often forget that there’s one here at all.
Also, according to quite a few sources, this song won the backup jury vote and would’ve placed fourth under the 2009-2012 system. So, it seems clear to me that Germany is the reason the juries were eventually brought back. I’ll share my thoughts on the juries at a later point, but I would’ve really liked for this to have finished fourth, it certainly deserved a top-ten result.
“So, as you know, we don’t have a song for you this year, but we promise that next year, we’ll give you the best one,” - Jovana Janković, the spokesperson for Serbia and Montenegro, 2006.
Clearly, Serbia (now without Montenegro) held their word as they became the first country to win on their first participation since 1956 (and the contest just started that year, so every country was on their first attempt that year, so maybe that shouldn’t even count). Now, was this deserved? Hell yes, it absolutely was. Let me explain why.
I like two kinds of ballads: the first kind is wonderfully understated and airy, while the second one is flashy, but not too flashy. Both of them need just the right amount of build-up, and this definitely manages its build-up marvellously. It already starts out quite flashy, which allows me to prepare myself for the kind of song it’s going to be. And yet, it also manages to be a little understated as well. And it actually stays this way for the whole of the first verse, chorus and even the second verse. Most ballads probably would’ve thrown everything in by the first chorus, which would’ve made me feel tired of the song by the time it ended. The grandness and epicness only truly kick in for the second chorus (though there are still some additions for the second verse). And that’s all accompanied by key changes - that’s right, there are two key changes here, but they’re hidden really well in the overall progression and don’t ruin the song at all. If anything, they add to it.
But it’s also highly elevated by the performance. I’m not a huge vocal critic, but god damn, Marija can Sing (yes, with a capital S). I’d go as far as to say that she’s among the best vocalists that have ever graced the Eurovision stage. And a song like this needs someone with such an impressive range - someone who can both go subtle in parts that need it but also belt out these huge, impressive notes. And, unlike most vocalists, I don’t get the feeling that she’s just showing off. She feels truly sincere, like she’s happy to share this song with everyone. And she’s happy to share the stage with her backing singers, if you catch my drift. There’s no denying it, this performance is super gay, and I mean that in a completely positive way. Eurovision is gay, and there’s no beating around the bush here. Just look at the pride flags in the audience in every show - even 2007 had a bunch of them. And that isn’t a bad thing at all - hell, I’m gay myself and discovered this thanks to Eurovision (partly, I’ve had a lot of other inspirations and influences). There’s one specific entry that made me start thinking about it, but we’ll get to it later. For now, I’ll just say that this is exactly the kind of show we need.
There’s another way this stands out amongst most winners: it’s in Serbian. There hasn’t been a non-English winner ever since the language rule had been dropped, and there wouldn’t be another one for a decade after this. So, I have to give her some extra credit for managing to overcome the language barrier.
All in all, this is easily one of the most deserved winners - and it makes sense that it’s still so beloved even today. I love it too, even if it isn’t my absolute favourite of the year.
Also, I remember Terry Wogan calling her weird-looking, which is one of many reasons I’ve avoided his commentary like the plague. He’s absolutely intolerant of anything even remotely resembling creativity, expecting Eurovision to be the exact same dreary bore it was in the late 80s.
Also also, for the second year in a row, the winner performed 17th in the final, followed by Ukraine performing 18th. I love funny coincidences like this.
Also also also, there’s a Russian version of Molitva. While she does have an accent while singing in Russian, she’s still perfectly understandable and I always love a nice non-English alternate language version.
How do you even tackle an artist you’ve known since childhood? Well, I don’t exactly know, but I’m gonna try anyway.
Verka is probably our most culturally relevant participant. While most of our participants are still releasing popular and liked songs, Verka is the cultural icon. She’s been a popular character since the 90s, Danylko (Andriy Danylko is the actual man behind this character, Verka is his drag persona) and has retained cultural relevance to this day - in fact, Danylko was on the jury for Vidbir 2024. The songs he sang as Verka are still hugely popular and beloved - during the New Year celebration in 2024 (I had it with some other Eastern European immigrants into the UK), we played all of her songs because everyone enjoys them, and they’re always played at every party. I’ll link some of them at the end of my post - but here’s a spoiler for you: I prefer most of them to Dancing Lasha Tumbai.
Now, let’s talk about the song - and the performance. Obviously, this is a song designed to be performed live. I’ve only listened to the studio version and found it completely lacking without the visuals (though I swear the instrumental is different too). Still, it has some really cool choices that still make it interesting to listen to. For example, the accordion. I really like accordions, and adding one to a song is an easy way for someone to pique my interest. And this just has an accordion throughout the whole song without giving us any reprieve. The same goes for every other instrument - they get turned up to eleven right away and barely stop. But! Here’s the thing! It works! The song feels super hectic, but the live performance - which is also super hectic (I’ll talk about it in the next paragraph) - meshes with it really well. As a result, the song feels structured and interesting, even though it barely has any variation to speak of - either musically or lyrically.
Now, the performance is what makes it work. As a seasoned entertainer, Danylko knows how to work the crowd. Everything about the performance is designed to leave an impression on you. From the striking disco ball costume and the star to the glittery costumes of the backing dancers and singers, it ensures that it’ll stick around in your mind at least until it’s time to vote. The silly dances that are extremely simple to repeat at home after seeing them just once also help a lot, as it allows the viewers at home to follow along, so to speak. It’s basically just one big invitation to party and dance along, regardless of whether you understand the song or not. After all, she speaks dance. In a way, it’s a song about how music is a language that we all know how to speak (to steal a phrase from a future host). As you all know, I’m a big supporter of this idea, so it also appeals to me for this reason.
And yet, I don’t think it would’ve been a good winner. With the way people relentlessly complain about bloc voting and joke entries, I think everyone would’ve turned on it had it actually won. A parallel I have is Toy. Before the contest, it was a huge fandom favourite, but after it won, people really soured on it. I totally believe that it wouldn’t have been as big of a fan favourite without the “robbed” narrative all second places get. I can easily imagine people bringing it up as an example of the “worst winner ever” or whatever. People are funny like that.
On the other hand, my mum is still slightly salty about this not winning. A while ago, I brought up Eurovision while talking to her and she brought up the fact that Verka should’ve won all by herself. She even remembered that the only country that didn’t give us points was Albania. Now that’s dedication.
On a slightly unrelated note, I want to talk about the use of German here. Most viewers probably found it completely random and unexpected, after all, why would Ukraine sing in German. Well, first of all, why would Cyprus sing in French? But also, there’s a different reason than “because”. The thing is, German is seen as a funny and silly language in a lot of ex-USSR spaces (of course, it’s still seen as an aggressive language too - no, I don’t know how we reconcile these two completely opposite ideas). It’s common to use German words for exaggerated comedic effect (for example, people often say “verstehen” to ask if you understand them - though it can be both comedic and threatening, depending on the situation. Another example would be people saying “komm zu mir” or “gute nacht” to mean exactly what they mean in German, again, just to sound a bit sillier). Now, this has fallen out of fashion in my generation a bit (though not entirely), but my mum’s generation (and Andriy Danylko is part of that generation) still enjoys doing it. So it doesn’t surprise me at all that he chose to use German for his comedic song.
Now, here are the songs I promised you: Всё будет хорошо - one of the biggest classics ever, Гоп гоп гоп - another huge classic, Я попала на любовь - something slightly different, more cabaret-style and Дольче & Габбана - also slightly more cabaret-ish (and my personal favourite of her). You might also recognise one of the actors during the intro of the last song as our current president. In general, if you like these songs, I’d also recommend checking out another band called TIK - they’re also super funny and have a lot of total classics. I’d recommend Сірожине пірожине and Олені. You should also check out Маршрутка by Skryabin (he’s usually a more serious musician, but everyone’s allowed to shitpost from time to time). I feel like this is a nice overview of the comedic side of our music, and since I can’t think of anything else off the top of my head, I’ll stop.
The BBC doesn’t understand Eurovision, part two of many. I don’t even have any desire to deconstruct why it’s bad because it’s a boring kind of bad, the kind that has very few redeeming features. It’s annoying, repetitive and bland, with innuendo-ridden lyrics and a boring composition. The most credit I’ll give them is that it’s a coherent performance that at least sticks to its gimmick, the vocal performance is actually surprisingly good (granted, UK entries rarely have terrible vocals) and some of the innuendos are kinda funny. I have to wonder why this was in the national final in the first place.
Also, I find it funny that Terry Wogan was bitching about bloc voting, but he conveniently didn’t say anything about this song getting 12p from Malta and 7p from Ireland (and nobody else). Clearly, it’s only bloc voting when those stupid Eastern Europeans do it, but it’s totally ok when the refined Westerners engage in it as well.
This is an ensemble song with everyone taking a turn to sing, a bunch of languages jammed into a single song and several other tropes I usually dislike, so I should dislike this song as well, right? That would be logical. Well, I actually don’t! I find it quite cute, and here’s why.
First of all, since the song switches languages with every singer, the ensemble-style singing makes sense. As every person in the band seems to specialise in one language, it actually helps to create a sort of cohesion. You know that the guy dressed in purple will be singing in French, the guy dressed in red will be singing in Spanish and so on. It really helps make this song feel a lot more grounded than it could’ve otherwise been.
It also has a very interesting way of making you feel like it progresses. Unlike most songs, it doesn’t really add any instruments or complexity, but neither does it shoehorn a bunch of key changes in. Instead, it speeds up as time goes on. This is a very novel way of handling progression, and I actually quite enjoy it. The only other Eurovision entry that did something along these lines was Israel’s 1988 submission - at least that’s the only one I can remember off the top of my head.
All in all, it’s actually quite interesting. It’s definitely proof that a lot of the tropes I find annoying can be used to good effect to create something cool and enjoyable.
If I were watching this in 2007, I don’t think I would’ve predicted this to qualify. It seems very inaccessible to Western European ears, and as much as everyone complained about bloc voting, you still needed a decent chunk of the countries to support you to qualify. So why did they like this quintessentially Slavic song enough not just to vote for it, but to give it high points? Well, I obviously can’t say, but I can explain why I like it.
So, let’s talk about white voice singing first. As someone who grew up hearing it regularly, I don’t find it anything special. To me, it’s just a style of singing - one that sometimes fits a song and sometimes doesn’t. In this case, it totally fits the song and makes me enjoy it so much more. It’s truly a perfect way to show that it can accompany any genre of music. Though, I have to admit it took me a long time to start liking it. I don’t remember it from 2007 at all, which means my child brain found it totally unremarkable, and I didn’t really enjoy it when I rewatched this year back in 2020, but it has finally grown on me and become a huge favourite.
But it isn’t just the singing, the whole vibe of this song is hypnotic and mesmerising. The backing track has a very monotone drone, which would usually be a huge negative, but it just works here. Despite its repetitiveness, it still has a lot of energy in it, and I like that it’s very electronic. It shows that white voice singing isn’t just something relegated to folk music. The drumming is also just plain awesome. In a way, it feels like music for a kick-ass interval act - and I mean that in a purely positive way. I can just imagine a bunch of synchronised dancers doing some crazy dance moves to this, huge drums and so on (basically, a perfect 2000s interval act).
But it isn’t an interval act. Rather, it’s an entry. And yet, it still activates the parts of my brain that respond to interval acts and allows me to rest a little from other songs. That really alllows it to stand out from every other entry in a purely positive way.
And I’m being serious about this, go check out Bulgaria’s rhythmic gymnastics performance from the 2020 Olympics (yes, I don’t watch the Olympics, but I do know of this performance). It was done to this song (though to a different cut compared to the Eurovision performance) and won gold. Now tell me that you can’t imagine a similar interval act being done at Eurovision to this.
We had a Greek Sakis in 2004 (the original version), then a Cypriot Sakis in 2005 and now we’ve got a Turkish Sakis. And I can’t say I like this song much more than the other songs by Sakis clones. It’s nice, accessible, and boppy, and the running order is pretty much perfect. It was basically fated to do well, though fourth is a bit too high for this. The most remarkable thing about this song is the bleeps and bloops at the start that remind me of the Kim Possible theme.
After debuting with a perfect bop, Armenia decided to go for a ballad for their second outing. And, to be honest, it’s alright. I definitely like the switch to Armenian, and it provides a nice break from the upbeat songs before it. That said, I’m not really fond of it. It doesn’t really have too many interesting things going for it, except for the toilet paper tree. I do like the part in Armenian more than the one in English, so I think a version that’s fully in Armenian would’ve been slightly higher in my rankings.
I wonder if Natalia would’ve been as salty about her non-qualification in 2007 as she was in 2024. Maybe not? Who knows.
The song is actually really good. Since we had so many rock songs this year, it’s only fitting to close with one too. But this one’s a little more symphonic and epic than the rest, which is why it works much better as a closer. In fact, if I were a producer and had an option to swap this for any other song to close, I’d keep it where it is. And here’s why.
First of all, it’s a song that’s really good at hyping you up. It has a very nice sense of progression, with varying intensity (usually created with a very hectic violin - but I mean that in a good way). It’s especially nice after Armenia’s slow ballad. It also has a fairly over-the-top staging, but again, somehow, it works. There are people waving pieces of cloth, swinging flags, and spinning around, but it doesn’t feel like it’s too much.
I also really like the fakeout ending. The songs gets a huge boost of energy when it kicks in again after it, partly thanks to the key change after it. But it never fails to hype me up. My only nitpick is that she didn’t use a vocoder live since the studio cut does use it for a couple of lines. And it might just be my familiarity bias, but I like the version with the vocoder a little more. Still, it’s only a minor nitpick.
What I don’t like, however, are her clothes. For someone who complained about nakedness, she’s certainly revealing a lot of skin. You can see a lot of her midriff and her cleavage. I’d certainly expect better of someone who was so concerned about revealing clothes in 2024 (though people like her aren’t exactly known for consistency).
I think this was a thoroughly enjoyable year. It had a wide variety of genres - basically, something for everyone. I really appreciate years like this, and they make a great jump on points for new viewers. I also really enjoyed the production this year - Yle didn’t spare any expenses on this (it makes sense, this was before the 2007 market crash or the Eurozone crisis - everyone had a lot of money). The hosts were also likeable - well, two of them were. The comedian, whose name I won’t mention, was actually quite annoying and made the green room segments very difficult to sit through.
The voting was opened by Santa Claus - because Finland doesn’t believe in being conventional. The recap was quite a bit longer than in the previous years - they clearly put the extended voting window to good use. It was also still made from rehearsal footage. You can easily tell that from Serbia’s clip as Marija isn’t wearing her glasses (she forgot them at the hotel and had to perform without them).
If you know me, you’ll probably be able to guess what I think about the interval act this year (hint: I think it was great). Certainly, you can never go with Apocalyptica because they’re totally awesome and great. But they’re even better when they’re shirtless accompanied by fire throwers and other circus performers. Once again, it’s clear that Yle went all out on this show. I also want to remark on the guy with the Turkish flag jumping around at the end of the interval and then clapping his hands off after it had finished. That’s probably how I would’ve reacted as well. Oh, how I wish I could’ve attended Helsinki 2007 live, for so many reasons.
But all good things come to an end, and we come to the voting. Little Svante gives his mandatory approval (and says something in Finnish, which gets a huge reaction from the crowd). In the end, Serbia quite predictably won, as they’ve been leading the voting since the votes from Austria (which were the fifth set of votes to be given out). There was also an iconic voting moment during the votes from Belarus as some woman in the audience shouted “I CAN’T FUCKING SEE ANYTHING”, which sends me every time.
There was a hilarious separation between Eastern and Western Europe, with the seven Western European countries all languishing in the bottom eight (joined, sadly, by Lithuania) and Eastern Europe soaring high. Was it deserved? Well, statistically, with 17 Eastern countries in the final, there wouldn’t likely be any other outcome. It doesn’t help that all of them were automatic qualifiers as well, which have always done worse than qualifiers from the semifinal. Most of them were also quite inaccessible: two joke entries, jazz in German, a boyband drawn to perform second, a 70s rock-and-roll pastiche, a drunk auntie and an admittedly really good rock song that must’ve just fallen between the cracks. Still, something had to be done about this, as 2008 would’ve seen no Western countries qualifying automatically, apart from the Big 4.
This presented a huge problem for the EBU (I imagine they could already envision Terry Wogan bitching about everything for one more year just after the results became apparent), so they had to go back to the drawing board. The semifinal was clearly a good idea, but it was being stretched beyond its limits, so they had to come up with something else. Which is why I’ll see you all in Belgrade as the two-night format gets upgraded to a three-night format.
Here are the world’s weirdest rankings of Eurovision 2007. Some of you might think that they’re randomly generated, but it’s just me being weird.