It’s the 50th contest, and it’s held in Kyiv since Ukraine won it! I’ll be honest, we weren’t prepared to host this at all infrastructure-wise, but we pulled through and did our best anyway. There weren’t anywhere near enough hotels, nor was there enough airport capacity, public transport capacity, and basically everything else. Together with Euro 2012, this really forced us to modernise everything. Also, we really didn’t have a suitable arena either, but again, we pulled through. Add to that the fact that we’d just gone through a revolution, and it seems like a true miracle that we could host this thing at all. Since there was no relegation, every country that took part in 2004 also took part this year, regardless of their score or position. Eurovision actually gained some new countries since Bulgaria and Moldova both finally made their debuts, and Hungary came back for the first time since 1998. Lebanon was very close to making a debut but withdrew due to various reasons that I don’t really want to get into. On a more positive side, we’re finally in the widescreen era, which means another production values bump for the show.
No commentary for me again as nobody has archived the semifinal with Russian broadcaster and I’d rather eat rusty nails than listen to Terry Wogan.
Instead of having one long opening act, they decided to have a bunch of mini-sized different ones, which I actually really like. Instead of engaging in some flanderisation of Ukrainian culture (“sharovarschyna”, as we call it, from the trousers the cossacks used to wear), they decided to show both traditional and modern elements of our culture, which is always appreciated. I won’t spend too much time on the opening acts, though, as I’m quite eager to get to the songs.
This semifinal will have 25 participants, one more than the final, foreshadowing the issues the EBU would face in 2007. But, without further ado, let’s go to the 15 non-qualifiers of 2005.
While it’s not bad, I also wouldn’t call it good. It’s a fairly cute but uncompetitive song (and get ready for me to start using this phrase a lot). I can certainly see the intent behind it. But it just lacks progression or focus for me to fully embrace it. The melody isn’t sticky at all, which is already disadvantageous when you come up against 24 other songs, but it’s especially terrible for your chances when you open the show. This probably could’ve done considerably better with a couple more changes, though I doubt it would’ve qualified.
It’s another very uncompetitive song, but again, it isn’t exactly bad. The melody is relatively catchy, the mimed instruments are pretty good, and the guitarist is quite a looker. I would even say that Laura is a decent singer. So, what’s the issue? Well, again, it’s the lack of progression. The song starts the same way it ends, and every verse and chorus sounds the same. There’s nothing for my brain to latch onto, nothing that excites me or makes me go, “Oooh, that’s an interesting turn”. I was not surprised that the composers for this song were Swedes - it really does have a Swedish feel to it.
I don’t even have any words to describe just how little I enjoyed this. First of all, their microphones just straight up don’t work, so about 70% of their lines just can’t be heard. Secondly, that instrumental is total garbage. Mind-numbingly boring and uninteresting, it has nothing to offer at all. Add to this lyrics that make no sense at all, and you have the perfect “bad bad” entry. Ok, fine, there’s one part of the song I kinda don’t completely dislike, and it’s the melody of the chorus when they go “happy pretty way, happy shiny day”. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still really bad, but at least it isn’t as bad as every other part.
The sad thing is, this was an internal selection for Portugal. In fact, it’s the only time they’ve done an internal selection. I would’ve felt less bad if this was just an incomprehensible choice by the public through a national final, but the fact that some internal committee of serious musical professionals comissioned this and then thought that this was perfect just makes me depressed.
Also, even though Western Europe complained about bloc voting from Eastern Europe, this got 12 points from France, Germany and Switzerland, as well as 10 points from Belgium (but just 5 points from Spain). Since it can’t be explained by song quality, this is clearly the most obvious example of bloc voting.
Not gonna lie, while this is, again, not very competitive, it’s actually pretty good. This is still very firmly a chanson, but it does a good job of updating the formula for the 21st century. I’m a little sorry for Monaco that this did so poorly since it’s genuinely pretty good. I’m not super upset that it didn’t make it, but I feel like genuine efforts like this should be rewarded a little bit more, it should not have been in the bottom two in this semifinal, with quite a few much worse songs being present. Though I suspect that’s all down to the draw it got, as it was followed by Israel with something similar(ish), but way more appealing.
This is what people who hate Eurovision imagine Eurovision to be like. It’s campy, it’s cheap, and it’s quite derivative of other songs, but you know what? I’m not one of those people. I think it’s just plain hilarious, and it always lifts my mood. The double costume change is the funny kind of dumb as well, and I laugh every time she does them (you can also see a stagehand running away with her dress after she discards the first one). I honestly just can’t be too hard on something that I find so funny.
And so starts the Netherlands’ big non-qualification streak. They wouldn’t reach the final once between 2005 and 2012, which is a bit of a shame as some of their entries were actually pretty good. Case in point, this one. I actually think it’s a pretty strong entry, especially if you like ballads. The lyrics are a bit generic, but she makes up for it with her performance. I really like that she isn’t static throughout, instead making different movements and emoting, which all feel very appropriate for a song like this. There was clearly a lot of thought put into this, and I appreciate it a lot. I definitely feel a bit sad that this didn’t qualify, though I suppose it does have some flaws. The biggest flaw is that her singing feels half-spoken, which puts off a lot of people - at least in my experience. It also just doesn’t have a hook or a memorable section to it. For example, Israel’s ballad had a pretty sticky chorus this year, which is why it did so much better despite not even being fully in English. I just really wish it could’ve been a little better, but I already like it as it is.
This is another non-qualifier I feel quite bad about. I think this is easily one of the best instrumentals of the evening (actually, both evenings). I’m absolutely mad for these strings, they’re probably the most iconic part of the song for me. Every sweep just activates all of the right neurons in my brain and makes me want to get up and dance. But, of course, that’s far from the only thing to love. I also adore the percussion because of the strong rhythm it creates, which helps my brain latch onto the melody even more. In general, the composition is totally brilliant: it’s very 2000s, but not in a cringy “oh god, did I really listen to this back then” way, but in a more delightfully retro way. I think it actually would’ve benefitted from a live orchestra, it really could’ve elevated it.
I’m also a fan of how Selma performs it. To me, a singer performing this song needs to have some sass while performing it, and she’s definitely up to the task. She definitely manages to fill the stage with her presence, though she’s helped by some really good camera work. The way it’s shot really helps to accentuate her attitude and lets us focus on her way more.
So, what went wrong here? If this is so brilliant, why didn’t it qualify? Well, to me, the biggest flaw of this performance is the backing dancers. They’re just entirely unnecessary and actually take away from Selma. They don’t help to convey the idea of the song either, so I can’t even excuse them for that. If I was in charge, I would’ve just had her performing alone. In my opinion, that would’ve made the show much better, as she has the charisma to pull it off. I also think that the slowdown in the chorus really works against this, as that’s supposed to be the most memorable part of the song, but with it slowing down, the viewers aren’t remembering the best part of the song. But still, these are minor flaws, and I still really would’ve loved to see it in the final.
Even though this is the French-speaking part of Belgium, they sure do use a lot of Dutch angles.
Jokes aside, this has never been one of my favourites. It isn’t awful, of course, just rather dull. I don’t even really have any ideas on how to improve it aside from completely revamping the instrumental. It’s quite obvious why this has done so poorly, but at least Belgium got 12 points from Portugal, as the singer is of Portuguese descent (and they say only Eastern Europe engaged in diaspora/bloc voting).
No thanks, I’d rather stay quiet. In a way, this is the female version of Celebrate: tacky, obnoxious, tuneless and loud. When you consider that another country this year was also being represented by Estonians, it just makes you think if ETV was on drugs when they picked this. I don’t even have a lot of snarky stuff to say about this, it doesn’t really deserve my time and/or effort.
Cookiefonster said that the German commentator had said that this song really grows on you, and yeah, it does. This is probably the 5th time I’ve heard this, and I can definitely appreciate it a bit more now. It’s a pretty nice ballad, though one that really lacks progression but throws in a million key changes instead, Ralp Siegel-style. But you know what? I don’t feel like picking it apart. Finland has taken a lot of beatings from voting by this time, and it would bring me no satisfaction, so I’ll just choose to move on.
Not to be deterred by their result the previous year, Andorra tried again. And, as before, they brought something really great. It’s staged and performed exactly how I would want something like this to be performed - it all just comes together for me. The choreography is on point and not overdone - there are no elements I would’ve removed here. I especially enjoy the oiled-up men, but they also definitely add more than eye candy to the performance. As a whole, it feels like they’re performing some sort of ritual, which really fits the musical style of this performance.
So, what went wrong? Well, it’s quite similar to Tii from 2004 in its flaws. While it’s very competitively ethnic, it doesn’t have a melodic hook for the viewer to latch on. Andorra was already fighting against not having any voting allies, so they had to be memorable (after all, Switzerland doesn’t really have any allies either and qualified purely because of how awesome the song is - but more on that later). And I don’t think they succeeded at this, certainly not if you judge by their result - third to last place with just 27 points (granted, 27 points is quite a lot, but the point distribution in the semifinal was pretty even for a televote-only year). Still, I don’t believe this flaw is too major, but I’m also very far removed from a regular viewer. And since I didn’t watch this semifinal at all back in the day (I only used to watch the finals for some time), I can’t even say how I felt about it back then.
With Bulgaria making their debut, we only have eight countries left that have never figured in my reviews: Armenia will join the contest next year; Czechia, Georgia, Montenegro and Serbia will join in 2007; Azerbaijan and San Marino will join in 2008. After that, it’ll be a long way until Australia debuts in 2015, but still. I always love to see how each country approaches their debut, so let’s see if Bulgaria’s was a successful one.
Well, it obviously wasn’t, as they didn’t qualify by a very large margin. But you know who it did work for? Me! It really worked for me. When I first heard this, I wasn’t particularly impressed: sure, it was pleasant, but it wasn’t special. But four years later, I now realise that it’s actually really good (ok, I realised it before this, but I’m writing my thoughts out for the first time, so let’s keep up the pretence). It has very lovely coffee shop vibes (the band name definitely checks out here), being all smooth and jazzy and just plain pleasant. But I’d never call it dull because it definitely manages to hold my attention throughout. I even added it to my playlist a while ago and I can confirm that I remember all of the lyrics by now. I also like the rain samples in the background - it’s disappointing that more countries weren’t (and still aren’t) taking advantage of the fact that they can use all kinds of samples, not just prerecorded instruments.
Ok, you know what, this is a lot of fun. It’s definitely a mess, and I’m not really heartbroken over it failing to qualify, but I’m still happy that Ireland brought something like this to the table. It especially stands out after Bulgaria’s rather downbeat entry by bringing in some energy. It also has a dance break where the backing dancers do a sort of Riverdance parody. There isn’t really much to analyse here - it’s a very simplistic song, but at least it’s got a pretty catchy melody. I think the main issue is with the performers: they both look so young (and they are young, with Donna being 20 years old and Joe being just 16) that you inevitably take them less seriously. Joe is even dressed like he’s going to take his exams straight after the show. Had they been styled a bit differently, more seriously, I think they could’ve put up a much stronger fight.
This has to be the non-qualifier I feel the sorriest for. After sending a total dud the year before, Slovenia decided to course-correct and send something infinitely better. It’s like it was made for someone like me - a total sucker for good build-up. It opens sounding quite restrained and minimalistic, with a bit of a mysterious feel to it with some space-sounding synths and a very faint drum beat, but then it turns out that he lied to us! The song is way more than that, as it turns out. The pre-chorus goes all grand and orchestral(-ish), while the chorus itself adds some cool guitar riffs. After that, the second verse and chorus go all out with the rock. The guitars are loud, the beat is way less restrained, and he fully belts out the song. It’s just so perfectly dramatic, I love it. I also love how the ending goes back to being quiet and simple as if to tell us that we’re finished and let us calm down. He also walks up to his backing singer (who provided some opera-like backing vocals that actually didn’t annoy me at all - in fact, they really added to the song) and hugs her, which is just so sweet. It’s definitely a tremendous effort from Slovenia, and it really should’ve qualified.
This is the kind of song your drunk uncle would sing at a wedding while very unconvincingly telling you that he can play the accordion. Though, of course, this is done way more professionally and charmingly. I always love a bit of folk in Eurovision, and this really scratches that itch for me. I also love the way it switches between languages, it’s so seamless that I always forget it does that. Plus, I think it’s a really fun closer, I’m glad it was drawn in such a good position. I suppose I don’t have too much to say about it overall, it’s just good, not impressively great.
This was such a good semifinal (for the most part). While there were some duds, it did a good job of filtering them out. Sadly, it also filtered out some good entries as well, but it’s hard to qualify all of the good ones when only ten songs can go through.
While the voting was going on, they decided to fill the time with a pre-filmed insert showing us how the arena was renovated and fitted out. After the voting finished, we were treated to a really fun interval act with dancing and people on stilts and all sorts of other Eurovision extravaganza. It was a load of fun, and I loved every second of it. After a short recap of automatic qualifiers, it was even more exciting than last year, as more than 10 countries deserved a spot in the final. Even though I knew the results, I was so happy when Norway, Croatia, Switzerland and Latvia qualified, but I was also very sad for Andorra and Slovenia. There definitely are two qualifiers I consider to be subpar compared to the other eight, but you’ll find out which ones in the next section, where I review the finalists. I also find it a bit of a shame that the points for non-qualifiers weren’t shown at all, though I obviously knew that it was a one-off thing in 2004.
Let’s dive right in, shall we? I’m watching this with Russian commentary (in really poor quality, someone clearly didn’t do the VHS rip correctly - I’ll have to supplement it with the upscaled copy without commentary). After opening with Ruslana premiereing her new song (while using a flamethrower - because she’s just a cool person like this), which isn’t as good as Wild Dances, but still really good.
After that, the hosts walk on the stage and welcome us - it’s the whole routine we’re all used to by now. I’m very excited to begin reviewing the songs, so let’s finally move on!
And we start off with a proper banger. Hungary clearly wanted to make a splash with their return and, well, they succeeded. This is a lot of fun and really sets the mood for the rest of the final. But why does this work? Well, there are a couple reasons.
First of all, I think it was staged perfectly. Having the dancers dancing allowed her to focus on singing. It’s hard to sing and dance at the same time, especially when you can’t rely on any backing singers due to hitting the performer limit, so they decided to completely side-step the issue. The lead vocalist only ever sings or dances (ok, she does some simple choreo at times while singing, but nothing that would impede singing). All of the memorable dancing is provided by the backing dancers. And, I have to say, this was an objectively correct choice. It’s easily one of the best presentations of an entry this year, well done, Hungary.
But the song itself is also amazing, especially the instrumental. Right from the start, it hooks you with one of the best intros ever (I really like flutes, they’re so cool). In general, the instrumentation is just perfect for a song like this, with violins and a very strong drum beat. It’s certainly a melody that will easily get stuck in your mind for quite a while - perfect for Eurovision, you need something memorable. I also love how the beat sounds like the tap dancing, it makes it seem like they’re performing at an actual theatre. And, of course, the frequent instrumental breaks are used as an excuse to treat us to more dancing. It’s definitely an iconic ethnobop, and it should’ve done better than, checks notes, 12th????? Really????? I forgot that it did so poorly. Clearly, it was all political smh.
Again, while this is an honest effort from the UK, it just isn’t particularly interesting. I rarely find myself returning to this as other ethnobops are just better this year, though this is still alright. I think that the lyrics might’ve also been a little too clever for most viewers, as most of them didn’t speak English and wouldn’t have understood the innuendo in the title. It’s also just not varied enough musically, so it’s easy to see why it languished at the bottom, completely forgotten.
Chiara came back after giving Malta its best result ever to give Malta its best result ever (again). For the most part, she decided not to vary her approach too much - if it worked before, it’ll work again, right? Well, yeah, that’s right! Just like in 1998, she performed this perfectly - and I don’t just mean vocally. Her down-to-earth, sincere and normal attitude just appeals to me on so many levels and allows me to connect with her. She especially stands out this year with its plethora of upbeat songs and complicated stagings, which also must’ve appealed to a lot of people. After all, standing out is the most important thing in Eurovision, and it doesn’t matter how you do it. If it takes being normal to stand out, then that’s still a valid strategy.
But I also really do like it as a song. It has a very clear sense of direction to it, which I always appreciate. While its structure of verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge and chorus again is extremely basic, there’s still a good amount of progression for me to enjoy it. While the first verse and chorus are quite minimalistic, with most of the rhythm being provided by the piano, the second verse introduces a much more well-defined beat and takes away the piano, which really alters the feel of the song for me, but not in an incohesive way. And, of course, the bridge just switches it all up completely before we return to simple piano-driven instrumentation and then the drum-driven one almost immediately after. It definitely isn’t a song that’s content with staying in the same place for long periods of time, and if you know me at all, you should know that that’s always a positive for me.
Also, it managed to transcend cultural barriers, with a lot of its votes coming from Eastern Europe (and Russia actually giving it 12 points). It really proves that bloc voting can only do so much, and having a good song is what really matters. And, to be fair, it is the kind of song that would appeal to us Slavs. It’s melancholic but not depressing, with a very reserved performance (a lot of regular people always complain about flashy performances being more important than the song - and not just in Eurovision). It’s almost like Malta had done some research on how to appeal to us. It’s just a shame that this is Malta’s peak, and next year will start a long downward trend for their results and qualification rate.
I have to admit, I’ve always found this to be such a banger. It completely deserves to be Romania’s (equal) best result. The industrial theme adds a lot to it and makes me appreciate it way more. The percussion-heavy instrumental is also insanely memorable, which adds to my enjoyment a lot. But, while the song is good, it’s really all about the performance. The way they hit the barrels and her screamy and over-the-top way of singing pushes it even more to the top. Now, I know that screamy vocals are quite divisive, but I tend to enjoy them - it probably helps that I grew up listening to some very screamy rock and metal. It feels like she’s really performing in a factory and trying to sing over the machinery and the thumps and thuds they make. It’s obvious that this managed to stick around in the viewers’ heads really well - enough to score third place. It also shows that a reverse recap isn’t necessary for early entries to do well (since this song was performed 4th and finished 3rd, while the song performed 3rd finished 2nd) - all you need is a good song.
Ok, I can finally let my biases shine through. While some people watch Eurovision for pop, or ethnobops, or ballads, I always enjoy having some rock. Without the orchestra or miming rules, all artists were free to bring any genre they wanted, which means that we’re finally entering the era of rock and metal becoming more common in Eurovision, which brings me an immense amount of joy.
Now, is this the best rock song in Eurovision? Well, no, not really. It isn’t even the best rock song of this year if I’m being honest. However, it still kicks ass. I always enjoy a bit of glam rock, and it definitely stands out a lot in this contest (in a good way, of course), even if it does become a bit repetitive by the end. I just wish they had done more with this - it just doesn’t go all out enough for me. Still, I often find myself returning to this song and performance, it’s executed really well despite some of its shortcomings. It also served to show that rock can do well in Eurovision, which probably inspired some of the participants from the next year to submit their songs as well (let’s not name names for now, but we all know whom I mean).
This just isn’t very interesting, you know. I mean, it isn’t terrible, but it’s super repetitive and uninteresting. To me, there’s nothing that grips me here, nothing funky or anything that gets stuck in my brain. It definitely isn’t totally bad, but it’s one for the mediocre pile.
I’m a bit conflicted about this entry. On the one hand, it’s classic Eurovision: fun, bonkers, memorable and so on. On the other hand, it’s just too much. It’s just way too hectic for my tastes. But it also sets up Moldova’s approach to Eurovision pretty much perfectly. And honestly, I’m fine with that - and I’m certainly happy they had managed to qualify on their first attempt. The performance is also pretty clever, so well done on that as well. The song might be far from my favourite, but I won’t begrudge it its result - even if Moldova’s automatically qualified entry next year is pretty bad (but those were the rules at the time, so eh).
This is such a typical Albanian entry but in all the right ways. There’s a dramatic and screamy female singer who gives it her all, just as dramatic of an instrumental and an English revamp that downgrades the original Albanian version. Thankfully, she sings in a way that makes her absolutely impossible to understand, but I honestly don’t mind that. If anything, it makes it easier to pretend that it’s still in Albanian. And the song is still a total banger, which makes it easy to enjoy this despite its flaws.
Also, here’s a fun fact from the Russian commentators: Ledina was the host for Festivali i Këngës in 2004 and enjoyed the experience so much that she decided to enter it as a contestant in 2005.
This is very much in the vein of Sakis Rouvas from last year, but I kinda like this more. It’s still rather cheap, but he’s way more likeable than Sakis. Plus this has a more Greek-sounding instrumentation than Shake It, which I also prefer. But, once again, I’m a bit hard-pressed to say anything specific about it since it’s just a fine, solid song. It certainly makes a good addition to the final lineup.
Spain! Was! Robbed! This is such a banger! Europe was completely out of its mind when voting for this. Ok, well, there are several reasons why someone might’ve been put off by this, and it’s a very strong final, so I can see why this fell between the cracks. First of all, the performance is super messy and chaotic. I get that this was the intention, and it’s supposed to look like they’re performing a ritual of some kind (since the title of the song is translated to “witchcraft”/“magic”), but it definitely could’ve been expressed better. Also, their voices are definitely an acquired taste, they’re very close to that flamenco-style vocal Europe doesn’t enjoy at all. Finally, I really don’t like it when the backing dancers go “leleley”, they sound so annoying and immediately make my enjoyment plummet. But there aren’t major complaints, even if they might appear so. They definitely could’ve been rectified with some additional work, and I definitely believe this would’ve placed much higher. But still, this was the highest-placing Big 4 entry, with 7x as many points as the last place.
I know you’re probably expecting me to defend this ballad as well. Sorry to disappoint, but I’ve never really felt it. It’s fine and all, of course, I can certainly praise the production quality here, the way it all plays out and the progression, as well as her vocal performance, but I just don’t feel it. Unlike Chiara, who had a very soulful performance, I completely fail to connect with Shiri, which is a shame because the song is good in isolation. Clearly, I’m in the minority, as this song placed fourth.
On the other hand, this is an absolute banger. It starts off with an amazing intro that immediately draws you in and properly delivers on it. Every second spent listening to this is a proper eargasm. It’s just so energetic and cinematic, with the performers being the kind of boyband I really like. They have a lot of chemistry on stage and some great harmonies. It’s also very interesting structurally. I’ve heard people complain that it’s too repetitive, but I disagree. Even though it has only two choruses that it alternates (with a short bridge thrown in there), the melody is varied enough that it doesn’t feel repetitive. The first two choruses are quite minimalistic in their instrumentation, mostly accompanied by a very strong beat, but not much else (there’s also a key change between the two that I’ve never noticed before until I read through Cookiefonster’s review - I don’t have perfect pitch, sue me). The next two choruses gain violins and other cool instruments, which makes them sound distinct enough for my brain not to register them as repetitive. And, of course, the bridge breaks it up enough to make the part after it sounds fresh again. Plus, this structure actually makes it novel enough to stand out in general, especially since it comes right after a fairly by-the-numbers ballad. It’s definitely a song I find myself returning to quite often due to that.
I understand why people enjoyed this enough to give this such a good result: it’s a very smooth pop number, has a likeable performer, a good flow and is generally a nice piece of radio-friendly pop. But I just don’t get excited by it at all. Maybe I would’ve liked it more if we didn’t get more of the same from Denmark every year. Still, I can’t say I’m too upset by its result, and I’m glad that it qualified, but I would’ve preferred it if someone else had made it instead.
This is one of the “I like it, but…” songs. In this case, I like it, but it just isn’t Håll om mig. And yes, some of you will say that I should judge the song on its own merits, disconnected from all other songs, and believe me, I can do that. But I just wanted to point out that the Swedish juries have made a big mistake in sending this song to Eurovision - and the juries are to blame because the televoters overwhelmingly preferred Nanne.
The song itself is decent. It’s sleek and professional, the singer is pretty good (and easy on the eyes), and the chorus is quite catchy. Though the verses really let it down, they’re just boring and indistinct, but I’m more forgiving towards songs with meh verses and a good chorus than the other way around. Still, it definitely isn’t as good as most other entries this year and Sweden was lucky to have qualified automatically.
While I’m happy for Martin for making it into the final, I’ve always found this to be very standard and unengaging. And it’s a shame because there’s a lot of potential here: the instrumentation is cool, the performer is enjoyable, and the kettle drums add a lot of energy. Sadly, the song itself has very little progression and completely fails to interest me. Also, his jacket is absolutely hideous, I have no idea what the idea behind that was. The Barbara Dex award was definitely well-deserved.
This year, our broadcaster decided to try out a national selection. But they chose the worst format ever: 15 heats with five songs each, with the winner advanving to the final. Just before the final, four wildcard entries were added into the final for being politically active during the Orange Revolution. And one of those entries got a very lucky draw, closed the NF, and won by a huge margin.
To be honest, I don’t dislike this too much. The verses are actually pretty interesting, even if they sound like every other 2000s rap rock song. What really lets it down is the chorus. It’s just bland and repetitive, with almost nothing to redeem it. And I’ll always feel bitter that they won for clearly political reasons and not their musical merit.
I’ve recently gone through it since our broadcaster unearthed the footage from the final and even put it up online. Personally, my choice would’ve been Лови мене (Lovy mene, Catch me), but it came 10th with just 105 votes (we didn’t have a lot of voters back then). That would’ve been something all of us could’ve been proud of - though it wouldn’t have got a better result. In fact, it might’ve finished even lower.
The live performance for this was definitely highly subpar, which is a huge shame because I actually really like the studio cut. The song genuinely works for me, it’s screamy, yes, but I like screamy. I also love the verses, they feel like they were lifted straight out of a 4 Non-Blondes song (not in a plagiarism-feeling way, though, I mean this in a positive way). It’s the kind of song I don’t return to very often, but I always appreciate its existence when I do return to it.
Sadly, like I said in the opening sentence, the live performance leaves a lot to be desired. Gracia cheated to enter the German NF that year, with her producer buying copies of her singles for her to qualify for it, and she didn’t make a good use of that opportunity at all. Her vocal on the night was about as far from good as it could’ve been. But it makes me wonder: was her rehearsal performance any better? She got four points in total: two from Moldova and two from Monaco, with both countries using juries instead of televoting. What I wouldn’t give to see the full dress rehearsal clip as I found an article that covered one of the rehearsals and it said that her performance was “the best one she had yet”. Besides, the small snippet we get during the recap (still taken from the rehearsals) shows something a lot more promising. Which is why I’ll be a little more lenient while rating this, I think it could’ve been a lot better than it was, but I can see the potential in it anyway.
After one perfect melancholic ballad with a gorgeous instrumentation, Croatia sent another perfect melancholic ballad with a gorgeous instrumentation. But this time, it’s in Croatian, which works absolutely perfectly for this. Also, of all the songs this year, this is the one that manages its build-up the best. Just from the bagpipe intro with the backing vocals, you already know you’re in for something great. And when the verses begin, that gets quickly confirmed. Even though they’re pretty minimalistic, with only percussion accompanying them for the most part (and an occasional flute), they still manage to sound rich and complex. And that’s all down to Boris. He has the kind of voice that can carry any song: warm, rich and flexible. It’s pretty much an instrument of its own here, providing a lot of complexity during the verses. He doesn’t even have any backing during them, which is insane.
The chorus is also great. It’s a lot more energetic and folky than the choruses, but also a lot more danceable and fun. They really feel like a folk tune you’d hear at a festival of some kind, dancing around a fire or something. But it’s the kind of folk music that doesn’t feel outdated because it still has some very nice production values. Every instrument is clear, and the key changes give it a slight modern feel without making it feel like a tortured parody of folk music. But also, it’s just a very sincere performance, which makes it incredibly easy to connect with and enjoy. It really shows why Croatia was such a big power player in the early days.
And here’s the entry that concludes our trilogy of girl-ethnobop winners. And, just like the previous two, this is an obvious winner. It really has the widest appeal of all the entries here, with the least downsides. It has an insanely catchy and memorable melody with some nice progression. Just like Everyway That I Can and Wild Dances, it incorporates ethnic instrumentation together with accessible contemporary pop to let the viewers enjoy it much easier. I think that’s the best approach for an upbeat, danceable entry like this. It’s easy to make contemplative and sincere folky songs shine in Eurovision (as we saw with Croatia’s entry just three minutes earlier), but a poppy, dancey sort of song needs something simpler, something more down-to-earth, which this definitely has.
I think it’s also helped by its lyrics. They definitely aren’t a work of art or anything - they’re very simplistic - but that makes it even more accessible. As I keep saying, most viewers at the time couldn’t speak English at all, so only using simple words that people probably had learnt at school before allowed people to remember them much better as there were no complicated or unexpected words, nothing to trip them up. And the fact that they’re all short and snappy only adds to it.
But it’s definitely the performance that took it over the finish line. Helena was, of course, an experienced performer by that time (and her prior Eurovision experience definitely helped as well). She and her backing dancers (as well as the inconspicuously positioned backing singer who’s almost entirely hidden with some clever camera work). They do a lot of dancing, but here’s another important thing: these moves are pretty easy to mimic, especially the moves during the chorus. It’s very easy to imagine someone seeing these moves for the first time and repeating them right away because they just got into the groove. I also like the way they form a huge 1 on the floor near the end, it always cracks me up, but in a good way.
So, while it might not be my absolute favourite song ever (or even of this year), it has a lot of merit for me to still be happy that it won. Greece has had a lot of great attempts over the years and I’m glad they had their time to shine.
I’m really glad for my ability to ignore the lyrics of songs because that’s what I choose to do when I listen to it. The instrumental is composed so well, with a very gritty and dark rock vibe that really appeals to me, it sounds exactly like something I used to listen to when I was still a child/teenager. I also think that this song really suits her, she just really fits its vibe. Unfortunately, the lyrics haven’t aged well at all, considering the political situation Russia has been in since 2008.
But I’ll also briefly cover the background of the selection. Apparently, there was little drama, though a lot of musical professionals preferred Dima Bilan over Natalia. Still, nobody seemed to have been annoyed by her win or thought that she didn’t deserve it because the results were fairly transparent. The only piece of drama I could dig up is that she claimed that the drummer from the band The Rasumus would join her on stage, which they denied. She also had a pretty crap promotional tour, failing to get any attention during it. Still, I think she’s done her best with what she had to work with, and I definitely enjoy it more than I probably should.
Speaking of something I enjoy more than I should, it’s this entry. It’s just so cheesy but in all the right ways. The most surprising thing is that no Swedes were involved in this, but Yugoslavia had sent a fully Yugoslav-made schlager all the way back in 1982, so I probably shouldn’t keep being surprised at this.
I’m glad that at least one country decided to celebrate the anniversary of Eurovision! Every other country decided to treat this as a normal occasion, which is so boring. Only Bosnia and Herzegovina went, “hold on, let’s celebrate!” and sent the most Eurovisiony song ever. It’s filled with every Eurovision trope ever: janky lyrics, heavily accented English, key changes and so on, but they completely own it and don’t feel any shame about it, which is just so based.
Also, a bit of trivia that everyone already knows: since Lebanon was originally going to take part, there were going to be 40 countries, so the lyrics originally went as follows: “fifty countries on the forty cakes”. Since Lebanon withdrew, they had to rework it and they modified it to be “fifty countries on the party cakes”. While it sounds jankier, it’s a nice save - it’s not like they could’ve rewritten the whole song. But since the change was done so late in the process, the CD has the version with the original lyrics, so I always get a little tripped up by this change when I watch the live performance.
Also, this is my 1000th review, woohoo. Only 769 more to go (oh no).
Ok, now we’re talking. This is how you execute a rock song in Eurovision. Everything about this is nothing short of amazing. But first, a little background. This show is the first one I can truly remember watching live. And I especially remember this entry. I was completely entranced by it from the second it came on screen and fell in love with it right away. I begged my parents to send in a vote for it (I don’t remember whether they did that or not - they probably did). After they got the CD for this year, I kept playing this song over and over and over and over again, so much so that the CD actually broke. I fully credit this with influencing my musical taste and making me love rock music since I was little.
But why have I loved this song for almost 20 years now? What makes it so special for me? Why don’t I feel the same way about the Norwegian entry this year? Well, I have no concrete reasons, I just love it, it’s as simple as that. But I’ll try and explain what makes this a great piece of music anyway.
To me, it’s all about the composition. It hooks you in right away with that amazing cinematic intro - completely instrumental at first and then with the first verse sung over it. It just makes your brain go, “Ooooh, I wonder what’s next?” and that’s when they hit you with a great transition into a banging rock song. It really goes all out in the chorus, which just makes you want to know what’s coming up next. The second verse and the chorus after this don’t really have any changes in energy or intensity, maintaining the same energy, but that doesn’t really bother me - rock should be energetic and intense. We also get an awesome bridge that strips down the instrumentation before it all kicks in again in the final chorus. While it is a bit standard structure-wise, I don’t mind it at all since all tropes are tools, and it uses this structure perfectly well.
I also have to credit the live performance. Not just from the people on stage, though they are, of course, awesome. They have perfect vibes for a song like this: sassy, energetic and just plain cool (I guess you could say that they have… cool vibes. I’m sorry (actually, I’m not sorry at all)). But it’s also the camera work. The way the cameras zoom, make sweeps over them and generally try to keep it as dynamic as possible shows that we really are in a new era regarding production values in Eurovision. One specific shot that always manages to hype me up is the zoom before the second chorus. The instrumental stops, the camera zooms, and I always get unreasonably excited about what’s coming up next. Also, it uses a lot of Dutch angles, which would normally make this look cheesy, but it just simply works here.
If I had to point out this entry’s weaker spot, it would be the lyrics. They’re far from being a masterpiece. In fact, I’d call them a bit banal, but you know what? I’ve never cared about lyrics too much. While I can appreciate good lyrics, bad lyrics don’t ruin a song for me. Besides, they deliver them with enough conviction for my mind to start believing that they were written by Shakespeare himself. Also, another thing that always disappoints me a little bit is that they turned down the male backing vocalist in the final compared to the semifinal. Still, that doesn’t ruin it one bit for me, but just know that I’m ranking this based on the semifinal performance, which I consider to be the definitive one (the same thing happens in 2006 with one of the participants).
Also, I feel like this only happened because of Switzerland’s result in 2004. Getting zero points from the televote of 36 countries must’ve felt very humiliating, so they set out to do much better. Getting the dreaded nul points generally can make a country re-evaluate their approach to Eurovision and improve their results. The same had happened to Iceland after 1989 and it’s going to happen to the UK after 2021.
Overall, I definitely credit this entry for making me interested in Eurovision so much. I remember being rather excited for the 2006 contest to see if something as great as this would take part in it (though I still didn’t watch the semifinal that year). While I’m sure I would’ve been a fan regardless, it probably still helped a lot. And, as I said, it definitely helped me form my current musical taste, so I really don’t think I can be objective about this, but these are my reviews, and I’ve never claimed to be objective. They’ve always been subjective and will continue to be subjective.
Also, I find the whole controversy with them being Estonian and not Swiss to be way overblown. It’s not like Switzerland is new to sending foreign artists to Eurovision. Hell, they were the first country to send an Israeli performer in 1963 (well, together with Austria, but still), and Céline Dion actually won it for them in 1988 (and she’s as Swiss as I am). They’ve also had other Canadians, Austrians, Italians and so on representing them over their participation. So I find it weird that people latched onto this so much. It’s normal in Eurovision - just let it go.
What can be better than putting a calm entry like this after a flashy rock number? Well, not much, but it definitely benefitted from it a lot (as well as generally from coming late). But it also benefitted from just being an amazing song.
You all know my opinion on peace ballads: they (usually) suck. Up to this point, there have been just two that I’ve praised for being sincere and real. Well, this is the third one that I think is actually sincere and likeable. The performers truly feel this song and Europe resonated with them. To me, the defining feature of this entry is its simplicity. There are no complicated and outlandish LED usage, no interpretive dancers or anything that distracts from the two leads. All of the focus is on the performers, who start off by rather unconvincingly miming playing their guitars, but abandon them and move to a standing position. Quite notably, this is also the first Eurovision song that included sign language, which I find very sweet. While yes, this is a song contest, and songs are inherently inaccessible to deaf people, there’s no reason not to try and include them anyway.
I also find the lyrics really poignant. I’ve repeated that I don’t care about lyrics several times over the course of this post, but the truth is that sometimes I do, and this is one of those times. They’re really poetic and full of metaphors (dreams that die by crashing against the ground like glass, for example) but not gloomy. It’s a sort of hopeful melancholy, I’d say, which always appeals to me a lot. I think its placement was completely deserved, and I wouldn’t have been mad at all if it had actually won. It definitely would’ve been deserved.
This was made considerably worse by her styling - and the staging in general - being changed from the national final. France really fell into the classic staging trap: they tried making it more complex, more striking, and more impressive, but ended up making it incoherent and messy. She looked so cute in the original performance, and her black outfit suited her perfectly. On the other hand, the yellow dress she had at Eurovision was garish and ugly.
And it’s a shame, too, because the song is really nice. I really enjoy the cool, dramatic verses and her delivery. The chorus is, comparatively, a letdown, especially at the end. Although the structure is actually quite interesting: she opens with the chorus being repeated twice, then we get the verse-like part, and then she repeats the chorus six more times. I can’t help but feel like spreading the non-chorus part around would’ve made for a much more interesting listening experience. Even so, I kinda enjoy the instrumental - it’s very dramatic, even though it lacks progression for my tastes. Still, there are some good parts here, and I appreciate them more than I dislike the bad parts.
I love 2005. Even the bad songs aren’t so bad for the most part, but the good songs are great. It has something for everyone: ethnobops, ballads, rock, radio-friendly pop, guybops, folk music and all of that comes in a variety of languages to pick from. In my opinion, it’s a very good starting point for new viewers as it showcases the best of the best of Eurovision.
I find it funny that we tried to set a new tradition of famous people opening the televote. While it was followed for a little bit, we all know that everyone forgot about it very soon after. Still, it’s understandable that we tried to leave our mark on the show. After the recap, there was a short pre-filmed insert about how we got ready for Eurovision, and that was followed by a jumpscare from our president Viktor Yuschenko and prime minister Yuliya Tymoshenko (who’s a pathetic excuse for a human being, but let’s not get into politics). When they’re showing a live stream of people watching the show from Maidan, you can very briefly see my great aunt, who also attended the dress rehearsal at the time.
This is all followed by a banger interval act. Thankfully, it isn’t more singing (at least right away), I’ve had enough for today after having listened to 24 songs already. Instead, it starts off with drumming (because that’s this year’s theme - not that I’m complaining, I’m a total sucker for percussion). There’s also a very cool performance from a body artist set to some very sensual music, which I also found great, which transitioned back into drumming and, eventually, Ruslana coming on stage and semi-singing a song. Thankfully, it still predominantly consists of fun, energetic dancing (you might even call it… wild dancing), which she executes perfectly. For the most part, the singing consists of repeated “hey"s, even though there are occasional lyrics thrown in. That was a lot of fun. After a very brief stint in the green room, Pavlo runs back to the stage just in time for the voting to begin, as little Svante has confirmed the results and gave everyone the green light to proceed with the voting.
The voting was genuinely exciting as well. Even though it felt excruciatingly slow at times, the leader changed every time. After Austria’s vote, Serbia and Montenegro were in the lead. Then, Croatia took first place. After that, it was Moldova’s time to overtake everyone. Israel and Switzerland fought for first place too but were overtaken by Latvia, which was confidently getting points from nearly every country, though never quite getting any significant lead. In the meantime, Greece was lagging far behind in the lower top 10. It took for Turkey to give their votes (which was the 21st country to vote out of 39 - so pretty much the halfway point) for Greece to take the lead. After that, it never looked like it had any chance of losing, but it was still interesting to watch because it felt like the rest of the top 10 was in constant flux. And with the top 10 countries qualifying for the final directly, it felt like there were actual stakes in positions other than the winner. Still, the results showed that the automatic qualifiers were at a significant disadvantage compared to the semifinal qualifiers. While the top 10 only had two AQs (Greece and Serbia and Montenegro), the bottom 10 consisted of 9 AQs and just one qualifier from the semifinal (North Macedonia). The EBU would continue ignoring this issue for a bit, but the new system was starting to show its cracks a little bit.
But I’ll see you all in Athens as Greece takes on the challenge of organising the 51st edition of this contest.